Dionaea (Tw;blood mention)**edit

[Pebbel~Lady]

My knees would be bruised
if I dug them into the ground to say my prayers
How bloodied I would stand if I 
picked the weeds from my garden.

Through gnashing teeth 
I'd provide the soil with iron and my
flowers would grow

could one justify such cruelty?
Would I even be right?
could it even be just?

revenge is a circle and i'm walking round, 
you could call it poetic justice,
But i'd rather call it sin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OG

My knees would be bruised if I dug them into the ground to say my prayers
How bloodied I would stand if I 
picked the weeds from my garden.

Through gnashing teeth 
I'd provide the soil with iron and my
flowers would grow

Justify why my blood stains the land

I could say its poetic justice
But maybe its just sin.


**Quicknotes: I literally just thought of this because of how bruised my knees were, and I was feeling flowery. 
Dionaea is part of the scientific name for Venus fly traps, the full version being Dionaea muscipula.
Diona

OO

[rowens]

My knees would be bruised if I dug them into the ground to say my prayers
How bloodied I would stand if I 
picked the weeds from my garden.

Through gnashing teeth 
I'd provide the soil with iron and my
flowers would grow

Justify why my blood stains the land

I could say its poetic justice
But maybe its just sin.





You have poetry here.
The last lines mean something.

I like how the lines before the last lines are made to make the last lines mean something.

The first lines are interesting. 

They all come together. But loosely. 
Keep what you have. Come up with something more tight. See what happens.



The prayers, gnashing teeth, iron; all these make the poem good as it is.
They are hints coding.

[Knitrockbottom]

My knees would be bruised if I dug them into the ground to say my prayers either a line break here, or combine the next two lines so they balance better
How bloodied I would stand if I 
picked the weeds from my garden.

Through gnashing teeth 
I'd provide the soil with iron and my
flowers would grow

Justify why my blood stains the land

I could say its poetic justice
But maybe its just sin.



**Quickn otes: I literally just thought of this because of how bruised my knees were, and I was feeling flowery. 
i wanna add more to this but im not sure what exactly, so id definitely 100% would like some suggestions.
Dionaea is part of the scientific name for Venus fly traps, the full version being Dionaea muscipula.Diona

Just from the couple of things I've read of yours I feel we write very similarly. I like both your word choices and topics. I think the main thing about this is that it doesn't feel fleshed out or finished. The ending leaves it a little open ended but personally I ask the question, does the character bleed because they love to garden/pray, because they feel the duty to pull weeds/pay penance, or another reason? Is it the contrast of both? I'd love to know a little more about this situation and character in my reading.

[depressedmetalhead]

This is a very good poem. I got the impression that this poem is about wanting to renew and improve yourself, but also knowing that it would be a messy thing to do and might release some new demons. I could be wrong, but either way this poem felt very relatable and raw. The only things I would suggest are a) replacing "its" with "it's" and b) adding a question mark after "Justify why my blood stains the land" so that the next stanza ties into it a little bit better. It's nice to see other teens writing on this website, and I congratulate you on a well-written poem!

[Pebbel~Lady]

My knees would be bruised if I dug them into the ground to say my prayers either a line break here, or combine the next two lines so they balance better
How bloodied I would stand if I 
picked the weeds from my garden.

Through gnashing teeth 
I'd provide the soil with iron and my
flowers would grow

Justify why my blood stains the land

I could say its poetic justice
But maybe its just sin.



**Quickn otes: I literally just thought of this because of how bruised my knees were, and I was feeling flowery. 
i wanna add more to this but im not sure what exactly, so id definitely 100% would like some suggestions.
Dionaea is part of the scientific name for Venus fly traps, the full version being Dionaea muscipula.Diona

Just from the couple of things I've read of yours I feel we write very similarly. I like both your word choices and topics. I think the main thing about this is that it doesn't feel fleshed out or finished. The ending leaves it a little open ended but personally I ask the question, does the character bleed because they love to garden/pray, because they feel the duty to pull weeds/pay penance, or another reason? Is it the contrast of both? I'd love to know a little more about this situation and character in my reading.

---

I did feel as if the meaning was kind of vague before, like you didn't really understand what the character meant, you could get the idea of what she's feeling but its not fleshed out enough. I also broke the first sentence up where bruised is as i do agree its quite jarring put together with the rest of the poem. I hope the edit i made is better than what i had originally, thank you so much for your feedback it really helped me put more thought into this poem. ^*^