Ideas for Later

[Bunx]

Ideas for Later

Hope is a hard thing to write
drowning in your failed dreams.
Cliches mention the journey,
life is falling of a cliff.

Love is a hard thing to write.
Feelings make mistakes.
She is your strength and weakness.
Throwing yourself in the fire.

Future is always unknown.
Regrets, moments in madness.
These days are always alone.
Dreaming of mistakes undone.

Moving on takes more than time.
Hoping that you'll love again.
Dreaming of time with your friends.
Comebacks happen every day.

Substance within believing?
Perseverance life's meaning?
It is hard to start over
against a past that you miss.

I wish to write about hope.
I dream to remember love.
I move forward despite pain.
For a future brighter day.

[rowens]

Ideas for Later

Hope is a hard thing to write
drowning in your failed dreams.
Cliches mention the journey,
life is falling off a cliff.

Love is a hard thing to write.
Feelings make mistakes.

You'd do anything for her.

When you shift gears here and start talking about someone -- I'd say get real here, breakdown in a prose like manner. And talk surreal and poetic in prose lines. 

[Bunx]

Thanks for the read and feedback rowen's, I replaced that last line with something more on the nose. I'm not entirely sure if I'm getting you're advice correctly, let me know what you think.

Thanks aton

[rowens]

I mean how you break into it. That's ok. You can make it your style. And you can think about that.
You start objectively. And you get more personal. And as you get more personal, you often use that opposed to the poetry. You, like, break character, and start talking.

You can use that as a technique too. And play with how you do it.

[Bunx]

I'll definitely keep that in mind. I've been trying to not make the poems incomprehensible, though I feel like lately my poems are way too personal. I was thinking about ways I can distance myself from the feelings on trying to convey in these and afraid I'm stuck somewhere in the middle.

I appreciate the feedback it's a good goal to think about

[rowens]

Future is always unknown.
Taxes, moments in madness.
These days are always alone.
Dreaming of mistakes undone.


For instance, in that part, you throw in taxes, which you assume everyone understands, and they do, but it doesn't go far.


You would do well to not throw in hints of understanding, and to make your own understanding musical and understandable in weird and yet understandable ways.

[Bunx]

I appreciate that feedback art doesn't have to spell it out nor does a poem. I feel like alot of my literal writing comes from a place of feeling misunderstood in my daily life. Though you write it often doesn't hit hard or go very far. You've giving me alot to think about and improve upon.

It's weird too I've been struggling finding my musical voice as of late and I'm just starting to pick up my instrument again. I feel like I have music and words still in me but my voice is changing.