Question Mark

[depressedmetalhead]

Question Mark


Am I free?

Was I ever truly me?

Am I still

the person I wanted to kill?

My skin isn’t right,

every day is a fight

to find myself and understand

who I am and for what to stand

the struggle magnified by my elders who

force upon me what is and isn't true

but I am no sheep, I question

Unwilling to conceal or bend per every suggestion

I am a question mark, a squiggle and a dot

in a world which never gives a second thought

[poetry_zealot]

Question Mark


Am I free?

Was I ever truly me?

Am I still

the person I wanted to kill?

My skin isn’t right,

every day is a fight

to find myself and understand

who I am and for what to stand

the struggle magnified by my elders who

force upon me what is and isn't true

but I am no sheep, I question

Unwilling to conceal or bend per every suggestion

I am a question mark, a squiggle and a dot

in a world which never gives a second thought

This is an interesting poem concept. However, I think that in a bid to force the rhymes, the flow of the piece falters a little. An example would be in "the struggle magnified by my elders who". This line has a very abrupt end point which is used to rhyme with the line below. It feels forced/artificial and I think this would be better if you reorganized the lines to end naturally instead (ignoring the rhymes).

[Mark A Becker]

Hi metal-
The best lines in this one, for me, are:
I am a question mark, a squiggle and a dot
in a world which never gives a second thought

cool near rhyme- dot/thought

Also- if you wonder where everybody went, check out the thread called MILO's FORUM : 2025 NaPM, where we're writing a poem a day for National Poetry Month. I think you'd like to join in, and I hope to see you there.
... Mark

[rowens]

I'm not allowed to speak on this poem as a psychologist.

It's not much of a poem, so I can't speak of it as a Critic without being an asshole.


What I will say is this, a man who doesn't believe in free will, :


Put your anger and fear and confusion into imagery, symbols, rhyme and rhythm.


Life is painful and people are stupid and are Authority.

Poetry is an Art. Don't let stupid dictate art.

Your artifice transcends and includes social-cultural reality. Use it! Be used by It. Still,use it.

to find myself and understand

who I am and for what to stand

the struggle magnified by my elders who

force upon me what is and isn't true

but I am no sheep, I question



Yes, and you are using rhyme and rhythm to validate your angst.

Fine. Don't do that if you don't want to.

Use poetic devises to redefine.

[carahmellow]

Question Mark


Am I free?

Was I ever truly me?

Am I still

the person I wanted to kill?

My skin isn’t right,

every day is a fight

to find myself and understand

who I am and for what to stand

the struggle magnified by my elders who

force upon me what is and isn't true

but I am no sheep, I question

Unwilling to conceal or bend per every suggestion

I am a question mark, a squiggle and a dot

in a world which never gives a second thought

I think you have some good ideas here.. it just needs more OOMPH. I'm guilty of being a little on the nose at times too ... but i think playing with some word choices and imagery could do a lot of good here, especially the first half! I have been enjoying your poems in the poems a day thread!

[Luchoracu]

Perhaps:
"a squiggle and a dot" --> "a squiggle, a dot"

I like how it starts, although as the poem evolves it loses its meter and cohesion - this could be intentional.
Perhaps, add a line to signal a descent into chaos.

E.g.

Am I free?
Was I ever truly me?
Am I still
the person I wanted to kill?
My skin isn’t right,
every day is a fight

[My mind shatters!: / ]  --> or something otherwise dramatic
to find myself and understand
who I am and for what to stand
the struggle magnified by my elders who
force upon me what is and isn't true
but I am no sheep, I question
Unwilling to conceal or bend per every suggestion
I am a question mark, a squiggle and a dot
in a world which never gives a second thought

Also maybe add full stop at the end to complement the "give [no] second thought" idea.

[twowza]

Question Mark


Am I free?

Was I ever truly me?

Am I still

the person I wanted to kill?

My skin isn’t right,

every day is a fight

to find myself and understand

who I am and for what to stand

the struggle magnified by my elders who

force upon me what is and isn't true

but I am no sheep, I question

Unwilling to conceal or bend per every suggestion

I am a question mark, a squiggle and a dot

in a world which never gives a second thought

I really love how you related yourself and your life to a question mark. I like the first 5 lines because they are raw and honest. I'm not sure how I feel about the rhyming, it doesn't feel well thought out. It would be good to change up the sentence structure and rhythmic structure once you realize you are not a sheep, and again when you say you are a question mark. I have a question though, are you a question mark to yourself, or just the world?