Somewhat a Ghost

[poetry_zealot]

“are you still there?” “i am
somewhere else” “but i still
move, i still breathe.” “you
simply mimic what hasn’t left”
“i feel…sometimes” “no,
you felt the gap between”
“what do i lack?”
“presence” “what? i speak,
i smile—” “echoes do too.”
“then, do i grieve?”
“you perform it well” “...
am i alive?” “only if you want
to be”

[Mark A Becker]

Hello zealot-
The form indicates a conversation, yet it's also very distracting, and makes the poem difficult to follow.

Maybe more, later,
Mark

[busker]

I second Mark's point.
I cannot discern a method in how the dialogues have been broken up across lines. Just have the point and counterpoint on separate lines, and it's easy to read

---

Even so, the Q&A isn't particularly interesting and comes off at as a vague attempt at philosophising. There isn't enough poetry in it.

“are you still there?”

“i am somewhere else”

“but i still move, i still breathe.”

“you simply mimic what hasn’t left”