Ideal of the Refugee - edit

[dukealien]

Ideal of the Refugee


What dreams call refugees to flee old homes
for hope of welcome in America?

Those yearning for fresh enclaves featuring
their own tribe with its language, and their chiefs
dispensing wealth Americans will grant
must be denied as no true refugees–
mere colonists who won’t assimilate
but circle closed minds under foreign flags.

Those driven by grim nightmares of contempt,
minorities by race and history
whom native lands revile and dispossess
may be admitted as true refugees,
become Americans, fit in, befriend,
revere its faith in full equality.

original version;

What makes a refugee
dream of emigrating to America?
Wretched conditions where he lives:
not its infrastructure’s crash
so much as government’s raw hate
of him, its lust for murder
and race-blame it foists
for its own failure.

What makes America
dream of welcoming a refugee?
One who, however much he owned
and was hated in his homeland,
can discard that cicatrice
and live in ordered comity–
not to colonize America
but be colonized by its ideals.

Such a one, with talent
and ambitious liberty to work
becomes a new star in the flag
he and all Americans may bring
as they launch new constellations
colonizing frontiers higher–
countless amities of light.

Inspired by critique/discussion of Color Enforcement a bit brighter and more individualized.  And not, I hope, too Kipling  for modern sensitivities.

[busker]

Ideal of the Refugee


What makes a refugee
dream of emigrating to America?
Wretched conditions where he lives: 
not its infrastructure’s crash
so much as government’s raw hate
of him, its lust for murder
and race-blame it foists
for its own failure.  all of this is pure prose. If it's going to be a rant, it'll be better off couched in some interesting rhyme, ala Kipling 

for illustration, consider Kipling below. The notion of 'lesser breeds' is ridiculous even by the standards of Kipling's day. The India of Aurangzeb, for instance, was not far behind Jacobean England in technology or civilisational attainment, and was militarily superior, at least in its backyard. It wasn't until the mid18th century, when Europe was in the full bloom of the Enlightenment and metallurgy had progressed by leaps and bounds, that the gap opened up. Dalrymple's book on the East India company has numerous examples to prove the point. But despite the central thesis of the poem being utter rot, the phrasing is memorable. 'The blame of those ye better / the hate of those ye guard' is a universally applicable sentiment. You could hear cops mumble that. Or military men. Or Anthony Fauci. That's literary greatness.

Take up the White Man's burden—
    And reap his old reward,
The blame of those ye better,
    The hate of those ye guard—
The cry of hosts ye humour
    (Ah slowly!) toward the light—
"Why brought ye us from bondage,
    "Our loved Egyptian night?"

What makes America
dream of welcoming a refugee?
One who, however much he owned
and was hated in his homeland,  .... same problem of being prose.
can discard that cicatrice  
and live in ordered comity– appreciate the word choices. Not run of the mill.
not to colonize America
but be colonized by its ideals.  ....ironical, considering that America itself is a colony. If you don't intend it to be randomly ironical, a different word than 'colonise' would suit

I think there's a place for optimistic, idealistic verse too, in this day and age. This strophe tries to do that, but there's still too much telling than showing.


Such a one, with talent
and ambitious liberty to work
becomes a new star in the flag
he and all Americans may bring
as they launch new constellations
colonizing frontiers higher–
countless amities of light.  ... 

Inspired by critique/discussion of Color Enforcement a bit brighter and more individualized.  And not, I hope, too Kipling  for modern sensitivities.

I appreciate your eagerness to welcome 2 million Indian South Africans, 4 million Ahmadis in Pakistan, and 20 million Muslim Ethiopians 

In all seriousness - the central thesis of the poem is weak. I wouldn't mind if you took the position that America's a predominantly white country, a European transplant, and must remain so. That would be intellectually honest. I think there's merit in maintaining a certain racial and / or ethnic uniformity - namely, that it eschews change. And change, as we know, may be good in the long run but is invariably troublesome in the short run. Those sorts of positions are fine as long as they are argued respectfully. 

But the key is intellectual honesty, which is what artistic integrity is all about (in the case of Kipling, it's not his bourgeois journalist's hack brain that we respect, but his skill with words, just like Maradona's with a football).

[RiverNotch]

for to reiterate https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cp3q129gpe4o

[dukealien]

edit;


What dreams call refugees to flee old homes
for hope of welcome in America?

Those yearning for fresh enclaves featuring
their own tribe with its language, and their chiefs
dispensing wealth Americans will grant
must be denied as no true refugees–
mere colonists who won’t assimilate
but circle closed minds under foreign flags.

Those driven by grim nightmares of contempt,
minorities by race and history
whom native lands revile and dispossess
may be admitted as true refugees,
become Americans, fit in, befriend,
revere its faith in full equality.

---

Another reboot, with thanks to @busker for the critique.  The previous version had a stanza (later removed) characterizing the non-assimilable emigrants as colonists; when that theme was carried over to the one about valid refugees it looked ironic rather than comparative.  So here it's only in its proper place (though I think the idea of a good new American colonizing himself has merit, it needs more preparation).  "Colonist" is another woke hate-word and I do mean to rub it in,  with justification.

On the road to beautification, blank verse seemed like a possible halfway house between free verse and Kipling-esque rhyme.  I considered throwing in "voortrekker" and "lager" in characterizing immigrants who won't assimilate, but that seemed a little too on-the-nose.  And Musk is gone.

Talk about irony!  Ramaphosa and his ANC want to bind those sons to serve the Party's and the Race's needs, alright, and don't you dare lay down that white man's burden, you owe us, you owe us, your debt can never be repaid!  If the Afrikaners leave, the lights go out for good and the waterworks never run again.  Then who would be willing to rebuild such a place?  Well, I can think of one country who'd do it for the mineral rights... not sure how the ANC would like being  local frontmen in a Chinese... colony.

---

For @RiverNotch - the BBC might have been more convincing if they'd picked someone other than a hopeful tour guide to shill the ANC line.  Which is along the lines of, "it's all lies, and we're only seizing their land to equalize property, and we kill more of our own people than we do of them, so what's their beef?"   I can't help recalling "A Bend in the River" where a man was seen to run  ahead of the African Big Man's entourage to intercept all curses and bad luck.  "And the man was white."  Naipaul knew the drill.