Opposition

[dukealien]

Opposition


For things to fit
there must be opposites–
not interlocked at first
but ground away at worst:
screw threads oppose
wood yields as steel embeds.
Imperfect, hidden cavities rejoice,
float gravities on lubricants
oil can:
graft nourishes foreign limbs
to flourish, flower, fruit–
old root, one stem
one life pro tem
happily hereafter
all one sap.

[matsunosuperfan]

Opposition


For things to fit
there must be opposites–
not interlocked at first
but ground away at worst:
screw threads oppose
wood yields as steel embeds.
Imperfect, hidden cavities rejoice,
float gravities on lubricants
oil can:
graft nourishes foreign limbs
to flourish, flower, fruit–
old root, one stem
one life pro tem
happily hereafter
all one sap.

Very neatly woven. Perhaps too much so; some variety of sentence structure would be welcome, and while there is finally some complication (the last 4 lines) of the initial ideological impulse, I wouldn't mind more of that. Interesting how we start off rhyming and then say nvm.

---

Opposition


For things to fit
there must be opposites–
not interlocked at first
but ground away at worst:
screw threads oppose
wood yields as steel embeds.
Imperfect, hidden cavities rejoice,
float gravities on lubricants
oil can:
graft nourishes foreign limbs
to flourish, flower, fruit–
old root, one stem
one life pro tem
happily hereafter
all one sap.

Very neatly woven. Perhaps too much so; some variety of sentence structure would be welcome, and while there is finally some complication (the last 4 lines) of the initial ideological impulse, I wouldn't mind more of that. Interesting how we start off rhyming and then say nvm.

[dukealien]

(snip)

Interesting how we start off rhyming and then say nvm.

Naw, the rhyming just goes internal 

[matsunosuperfan]

(snip)

Interesting how we start off rhyming and then say nvm.

Naw, the rhyming just goes internal 

Ahhh touche! Very nice :3

[purplie]

The part that I just can't parse is "oil can: graft nourishes foreign limbs / to flourish ...".

[dukealien]

The part that I just can't parse is "oil can: graft nourishes foreign limbs / to flourish ...".

It's Miscellaneous, so I can explain:

It's a quirky turn from the problems and solutions of opposites in contact to their advantages and resolution.  "Graft" as in both grafting limbs onto a tree and graft (or grift) funds siphoned away from intended uses; palm oil/greasing palms are terms for bribery.  Eventually the foreign limbs become part of the tree.  Or, in shallow contemporary terms,

Second or third generation Somali immigrants may turn from grifters and "Learing Center" operators to patriotic citizens, just as Jews, Italians, and Irish did.  It's a process - stereotyped, but stereotypes work, and are annoying, because they contain more than a hint of how things actually work.

[matsunosuperfan]

Opposition


For things to fit
there must be opposites–  compelling hook, natural vernacular and syntax, pithy declarative. good stuff. 


not interlocked at first
but ground away at worst:  feels forced into rhyme. "at first" and "at worst" neither a natural contrast nor one that rewards longer rumination, from where I sit. "ground away at worst"? so what would "at best" be... not ground away? Things can only fit if the worst possible outcome is being, eventually, ground away? Poem is already becoming too "puzzle-y" and obscure for its own sake. 


screw threads oppose
wood yields as steel embeds.  I dislike this syntax. Very poem-y. Ugly and distracting. Trying too hard to do poem-y stuff. 


Imperfect, hidden cavities rejoice,
float gravities on lubricants
oil can:                                     more unattractive syntax, poem feels like a riddle, I am now annoyed

graft nourishes foreign limbs
to flourish,                                  the worst bit of the distasteful syntax, "flourish" is an annoying word seemingly used in earnest, you've lost me

flower, fruit–
old root, one stem
one life pro tem
happily hereafter
all one sap.                                maybe this could be interesting, I can't really tell and I have lost any motivation to "figure out what it means." It does sound like it may be a boring summative ending, can't be sure.