Blindness, a haiku

[heslopian]

Dead explorers in the snow
beneath the northern lights -
What beauty! What blindness!

[billy]

i like it jack specially the after the cut.
personally i think it more a senryu because
what blindness! is more a trait of stupidity that an image

[heslopian]

Thanks for the kind words and feedback, Bilbo
Stupidity? I'm not sure I know what you mean. How is the blindness in the poem a trait of stupidity?
I guess it is more of a senryu though as it's just as much about expressing an idea than an image.

[addy]

This is... ecstatically tragic. Wow, very effective.

[heslopian]

Thanks Addy

[billy]

Thanks for the kind words and feedback, Bilbo
Stupidity? I'm not sure I know what you mean. How is the blindness in the poem a trait of stupidity?
I guess it is more of a senryu though as it's just as much about expressing an idea than an image.

because blind can be read as something other than blindness from the snow. blindness from the perils and not preparing properly or taking good precautions to stay alive. as a haiku it should also have a Kigo (or seasonal word) in this case snow wouldn't count because it's always snowing from Sweden up to the pole, though snow is can normally denote a season
there's a list of seasonal words in a book called Saijiki though i've never read it :blush)

[heslopian]

Ah I see. To me the blindness was purely literal. The dead men couldn't see the beauty of the northern lights. I didn't mean it as a comment on how they died. I see what you mean about snow. I thought of it as a seasonal word but yeah, the point of seasons is that they change

[Aish]

You write an interesting overlap of beauty and blindness.
Thanks for the read, Jack.

[heslopian]

Thank you for the kind words Aish

[Aish]

You're welcome!

I am learning haiku. Turns out I didn't know squat about them like I thought I did.

[heslopian]

haha Yeah I was exactly the same before joining this site. I published some haiku here and then Billy sent me the rules for the form, most of which I'd broken

[Aish]

But, Jack, there are no rules in poetry

[heslopian]

If that were true then I'd not bother with content and just put a sad face under the title each time

[Aish]

And no punctuation! Your smiley does not need punctuation!

(You could always add a picture of the anti-depressant of your choice)