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Lara Grace I loathe your face
and all your pop-up pointless prose.
I hate your style that gives beguile
another meaning, and who knows,
you may be naked from waist down...
though that alone would not suffice
to tempt me on. You can't entice
me with your gifts, your smiles are false
(and perhaps tits) but blocking you
is harder than the hardest thing that any man
can claim his own. Hang on, I can hear the phone.
"Hello. My name is Lara Grace and I would like to...."
Yes, me too. Cookies anyone? Take two.
tectak
2014
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Nice jaunty iambic tetrameter(mostly) with incidental rhyme both end and interior rhyme.
On form.
L9 meter is off. subtract "and" add "your" after "perhaps". "(perhaps (your) tits) but blocking you"
L10 A line of iambic hexameter, still it works just fine as it causes no bumps in the reading.
L11 drop the second "can" "can claim his own. Hang on, I hear the phone." iambic pentameter
L13 Possibly consider adding "here" before "take two", since you've completely gone off meter anyway. This seems to reintroduce the jauntiness of the poem in the last sentence and thus not end on a flat note (or so it seems to me).
"Yes, me too. Cookies anyone? Here take two."
I suppose the break down of the meter could be purposeful, but if it is, I think whatever you were trying to achieve by doing so has completely bypassed me. Of course that may have to do with who Jane Grace is.
On content.
In terms of the subject, I must assume that this is something that is endemic to the UK, or something you just pulled out of your ass, that is some arcane piece of trivia, but I have no idea about who is "Laura Grace". Are you referring to "Laura Jane Grace" the transgender woman, punk rock and roll guitarist. Somehow that doesn't seem to fit the poem. Its easy to pick up on the sexual innuendo, but it remains sterile as there is no solid body in which to insert it.
Maybe you could enlighten me oh besotted master.
Sappy Bollywood daze,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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who the fuck is Lara Grace?
(12-05-2014, 03:27 AM)Erthona Wrote: Nice jaunty iambic tetrameter(mostly) with incidental rhyme both end and interior rhyme.
On form.
L9 meter is off. subtract "and" add "your" after "perhaps". "(perhaps (your) tits) but blocking you"
L10 A line of iambic hexameter, still it works just fine as it causes no bumps in the reading.
L11 drop the second "can" "can claim his own. Hang on, I hear the phone." iambic pentameter
L13 Possibly consider adding "here" before "take two", since you've completely gone off meter anyway. This seems to reintroduce the jauntiness of the poem in the last sentence and thus not end on a flat note (or so it seems to me).
"Yes, me too. Cookies anyone? Here take two."
I suppose the break down of the meter could be purposeful, but if it is, I think whatever you were trying to achieve by doing so has completely bypassed me. Of course that may have to do with who Jane Grace is.
On content.
In terms of the subject, I must assume that this is something that is endemic to the UK, or something you just pulled out of your ass, that is some arcane piece of trivia, but I have no idea about who is "Laura Grace". Are you referring to "Laura Jane Grace" the transgender woman, punk rock and roll guitarist. Somehow that doesn't seem to fit the poem. Its easy to pick up on the sexual innuendo, but it remains sterile as there is no solid body in which to insert it.
Maybe you could enlighten me oh besotted master.
Sappy Bollywood daze,
dale
Posts: 1,827
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Oh, I see, she is an STD.
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Posts: 1,325
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I like the ellipses, gets the imagination working. 
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips
(12-05-2014, 03:27 AM)Erthona Wrote: Nice jaunty iambic tetrameter(mostly) with incidental rhyme both end and interior rhyme.
On form.
L9 meter is off. subtract "and" add "your" after "perhaps". "(perhaps (your) tits) but blocking you"
L10 A line of iambic hexameter, still it works just fine as it causes no bumps in the reading.
L11 drop the second "can" "can claim his own. Hang on, I hear the phone." iambic pentameter
L13 Possibly consider adding "here" before "take two", since you've completely gone off meter anyway. This seems to reintroduce the jauntiness of the poem in the last sentence and thus not end on a flat note (or so it seems to me).
"Yes, me too. Cookies anyone? Here take two."
I suppose the break down of the meter could be purposeful, but if it is, I think whatever you were trying to achieve by doing so has completely bypassed me. Of course that may have to do with who Jane Grace is.
On content.
In terms of the subject, I must assume that this is something that is endemic to the UK, or something you just pulled out of your ass, that is some arcane piece of trivia, but I have no idea about who is "Laura Grace". Are you referring to "Laura Jane Grace" the transgender woman, punk rock and roll guitarist. Somehow that doesn't seem to fit the poem. Its easy to pick up on the sexual innuendo, but it remains sterile as there is no solid body in which to insert it.
Maybe you could enlighten me oh besotted master.
Sappy Bollywood daze,
dale Hi Dale,
I am much saddened. It is I, your old lost chum, tectak!
I have been forced to assume this mantle of deception because the bloody site won't let me with my old name. It says I am already there...wha?....whi???
Accordingly and for the unforseeable future I am stuck with this hackneyed old cliche "tomcat"
AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH! I want me back!
Best,
tectak (heuch! Spit! heuch)
Go to https://discussions.apple.com/thread/6415403?start=0&tstart=0
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Tom,
Yes the same happened to me recently, or almost the same. I could not get in under this account and had to create a new one. Eventually it got ironed out. I believe I wrote you about it when you were at some lake in Italy? Anyway, have you contacted addy or someone to help resolve the problem? It took about two days after I got a hold of Leanne. Do I need to contact them for you? I sympathize, but would not worry too much, it can be resolved in short order.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Posts: 1,827
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Oh yes, I just clicked on the URL to the forum. Yeah if you are using an I-pad that makes it pretty rough, it's so hard to get below the shell. It's not so difficult in windows, and if you are talking Android I have no idea, but it looks pretty difficult. I had one encounter with an Android device, an even with the written instructions I could really get no where with it. As that was in June I'm assuming it has been taken care of?
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Posts: 1,827
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Tom,
Is it possible that you are logged in with another device and trying to log in with a different device? Just a thought. Don't think that has ever created a problem but who knows.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
(12-06-2014, 03:53 AM)Erthona Wrote: Tom,
Is it possible that you are logged in with another device and trying to log in with a different device? Just a thought. Don't think that has ever created a problem but who knows.
Dale
Hi dale.
Weird. Never had a problem before BUT I think I may have been logged in on my PC and tried to log in on my tablet. Bound to happen sooner or later. Then begins the comedy of errors. Piss orf, says tablet, you are not tectak. Tectak is already here. Put in your password if you dare....ahaaaaaaa.....you cannot have this password/user name combo...it is in use. Oh fuck....so what to do? Here, read this totally fucking indecipherable heiroglyphic from a cave in central Senegal....aha! You can't can you? So, go away and beg for a password...or, listen up....nothing...total vacuum.of space silence....sod it. Request a password reset. No chance. Go to this link then type in fg13bdgFs31@Hj½g$n!h (case sensitive) and your in. RIGHT! Great, all you have to do is read this totally fucking indecipherable heiroglyphic from a cave in central Senegal....aha! You can't can you? etc, etc,etc
Fuck it.
I'll be somebody else....but that's another story.
How is billy? Have you heard?
Best,
tomteckfuckincat
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On a normal day I'm logged in on ipad and 2 PCs at the same time, no problem.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips
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Billy has his new hardware and is randy as ever, or so the nurses say. No I actually talked to him via PM this morning about 8 hours ago, and he said everything was done. I assume he was fine. He said he just had one fitted, so I guess that means he is fine. Well enough to return my pm.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Well you can do that because you are special Marcella, but the rest of us brutes are far from your spiritual plane of existence. Hey since your a goddess on this site now can't you help poor Tom out? Or do we need addy?
xoxoxoxo
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Posts: 1,325
Threads: 82
Joined: Sep 2013
All I can find on mybb so far is a ton of threads on admin locking themselves out of their own sites. 
Tom needs the real god/goddess on this one.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips
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i've fixed it and given tom a new password. i also merged his new nic with his old one.
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(12-06-2014, 01:09 PM)ellajam Wrote: All I can find on mybb so far is a ton of threads on admin locking themselves out of their own sites.
were they /all/ by billy?
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(12-04-2014, 08:46 PM)tectak Wrote: Lara Grace I loathe your face
and all your pop-up pointless prose.
I hate your style that gives beguile
another meaning, and who knows,
you may be naked from waist down...
though that alone would not suffice
to tempt me on. You can't entice
me with your gifts, your smiles are false
(and perhaps tits) but blocking you is harder than
the hardest thing that any man can claim his own.
Hang on, I can hear the phone.
"Hello. My name is Lara Grace
and I would like to...." Yes, me too.
Cookies anyone? Take two.
tectak
2014 This is great. Or, I thought it was funny. I'd like to See a whole series of Lara Grace poems. Maybe switch the order of prose and popup.
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most of them probably were,
enjoyed the poem tomcat, er....tom
(12-07-2014, 04:40 AM)milo Wrote: (12-06-2014, 01:09 PM)ellajam Wrote: All I can find on mybb so far is a ton of threads on admin locking themselves out of their own sites.
were they /all/ by billy?
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