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well here’s the truth of how it was
when i arrived out here.
with just eight teats to latch on
i was always at the rear.
there was four brothers
and four sisters well!
with eight feeding came a fight
so the gauge was reading empty
and i'd hardly got a bite
a “runt” the big man called me
as they took me to the fair
too be raffled off to anyone,
and to whom they didn’t care.
so in a box i cowered
while the people came to look
to guess my weight and wonder
andwrite it all down in a book.
this one bloke, he picked me up
then looked me in the eye
said “no good’ll come of guessing”
for i haven’t got a sty.
but all the same he had a go
(i thought it was a hoot)
for just as he was saying it
i piddled on his boot,
ok!
i could go on and make this long
but there really is no time
come see me at the movies
i'm lard-fat and pink and prime
babe ten will be out shortly yes
and i couldn't give a fig
i'm the babe: the famous starlit
the one and only poetic pig.
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte
Posts: 1,568
Threads: 317
Joined: Jun 2011
03-18-2012, 12:53 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-18-2012, 12:54 PM by Leanne.)
I loved that movie... but it did nothing to put me off eating bacon  . I'm going to just run over your narrative for meter, because I think the content is fine, logical and with a great tone. Besides, we tend not to critique in "for fun" but I know you love it when things get all nitty gritty...
(03-18-2012, 12:08 PM)Bronte Wrote: well here’s the truth of how it was
when i arrived out here.
with just eight teats to latch on, i
was always at the rear
four brothers and four sisters, well!
our feed times were a fight
so the gauge was reading empty
and i'd hardly had a bite
a “runt” the big man called me
as they took me to the fair
too be raffled off to anyone,
-- to whom, they didn't care
so in a box i cowered
while the people came to look
to guess my weight and wonder
and to write it in a book.
this one bloke picked me up and then
he looked me in the eye
said “no good’ll come of guessing,
for i haven’t got a sty."
but all the same he had a go
(i thought it was a hoot)
for just as he was saying it
i piddled on his boot,
ok!
i could go on and make this long
but really there's no time
come see me at the movies
i'm lardy, pink and prime
babe ten will be out shortly yes
and i couldn't give a fig
i'm babe: the famous starlit
the one and only poetic pig.
It could be worse
Posts: 42
Threads: 6
Joined: Mar 2012
(03-18-2012, 12:53 PM)Leanne Wrote: I loved that movie... but it did nothing to put me off eating bacon . I'm going to just run over your narrative for meter, because I think the content is fine, logical and with a great tone. Besides, we tend not to critique in "for fun" but I know you love it when things get all nitty gritty...
(03-18-2012, 12:08 PM)Bronte Wrote: well here’s the truth of how it was
when i arrived out here.
with just eight teats to latch on, i
was always at the rear
four brothers and four sisters, well!
our feed times were a fight
so the gauge was reading empty
and i'd hardly had a bite
a “runt” the big man called me
as they took me to the fair
too be raffled off to anyone,
-- to whom, they didn't care
so in a box i cowered
while the people came to look
to guess my weight and wonder
and to write it in a book.
this one bloke picked me up and then
he looked me in the eye
said “no good’ll come of guessing,
for i haven’t got a sty."
but all the same he had a go
(i thought it was a hoot)
for just as he was saying it
i piddled on his boot,
ok!
i could go on and make this long
but really there's no time
come see me at the movies
i'm lardy, pink and prime
babe ten will be out shortly yes
and i couldn't give a fig
i'm babe: the famous starlit
the one and only poetic pig.
you are evil , have at it, the pig can take it because she eats everything
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte
Posts: 1,568
Threads: 317
Joined: Jun 2011
happy to oblige, ma'am... pigs also shit everywhere, thank god we've got a pen for them here
It could be worse
Posts: 42
Threads: 6
Joined: Mar 2012
and a large hose I hope lol
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte
Posts: 1,568
Threads: 317
Joined: Jun 2011
oh yes, but please don't ask srijantje about the hose, the answer will be impolite
It could be worse
Posts: 42
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Joined: Mar 2012
is it a green hose do you think!
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte
Posts: 1,568
Threads: 317
Joined: Jun 2011
It depends on the company.
It could be worse
Posts: 42
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Joined: Mar 2012
I like BIG MAC
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
is that with fries?
great to see you posting poetry babe 
Posts: 1,827
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Joined: Dec 2016
Makes me hungry!
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Posts: 42
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and Coleridge would lap it up
and change your words to make more art
or hers, if Bronte got there first.
(03-19-2012, 08:43 AM)billy Wrote: is that with fries?
great to see you posting poetry babe
Ha! he called it poetry
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte
Posts: 1,568
Threads: 317
Joined: Jun 2011
(03-19-2012, 11:00 AM)Bronte Wrote: Ha! he called it poetry
Forgive him, he knows not what he does
It could be worse
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(03-19-2012, 01:14 PM)Leanne Wrote: (03-19-2012, 11:00 AM)Bronte Wrote: Ha! he called it poetry
Forgive him, he knows not what he does
can we keep him? pleasss!> <
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte
Posts: 805
Threads: 374
Joined: Dec 2009
"Poetic pig"? Sounds like our forum 
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
i do prefer to be kept 
Posts: 42
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Joined: Mar 2012
(03-21-2012, 11:35 AM)billy Wrote: i do prefer to be kept
HA!
there is no quip that can steal the light from that statement billy
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte
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