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 04-09-2012, 12:19 AM
 
		04-09-2012, 12:19 AM 
	
	 
	
		Long future makes new twists and turns
She  curses  curves then sits
Increasing daily loosing folds
Where indemnity would sit
 
Yesterday was here today
Tomorrows’ on his way
The day before is never more 
Don’t ask for recompense 
 
Next year had planned for everything
Hear history groan and turn
We spent him in a hasty way
And salt is all we earned. 
I feel better now. 
 must do one a day Alll april  but I already  done one today , so this is a spare 

 love spares [/font] 
	
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte 
	
		
	
 
 
	
	
	
		
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		 (04-09-2012, 12:19 AM)Bronte Wrote:  Long future makes new twists and turns
She  curses  curves then sits -- love this, since in my head it sounds like "cursive" and turns the whole thing into a letter, which is possibly (as it often is) just me, but it does affect my reading
Increasing daily loosing folds -- loosening?  
Where indemnity would sit -- not at all keen on two uses of "sit" in a single stanza, it's not a strong enough word to pull it off -- though you could use "stand" as a point of difference
 
Yesterday was here today
Tomorrows’ on his way -- tomorrow's
The day before is never more 
Don’t ask for recompense -- very cool stanza
 
Next year had planned for everything
Hear history groan and turn -- for the sake of rhythm, I'd suggest something like "History, he groans and turns"
We spent him in a hasty way
And salt is all we earned.
	 
	
	
It could be worse
	
		
	
 
 
	
	
	
		
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		Love the philosophy Bronte, indeed what do we end up with, Karma perhaps! Thanks for the read, cheers! 
 
	
Oh what a wicket web we weave!
	
		
	
 
 
	
	
	
		
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		 BUT BUT!!  sit  has that lovely sharp sound, almost  a stab in the back that stops you dead!  BUT I never noticed I'd used it twice. this was a  run up to the poem  I wrote after. 
I posted number nine today , I wonder what tomorrow will bring. meanwhile I need to sharpen my tongue   get it in the grove   so to say!   
  I need to get back to my new book. that I will never finish on the page  because I get to see ity all in my head.   the last one was good. this new one is better.   yes  Speliberg  would love it . did I spell his name right!   shrug!  lets call him smith instead --  
here you might relate to this one more .   look out for snakes..~~~ lol
 SIX    7th april 2012  at 3.00pm 
Old Homes Old bones 
It really needs some dusting done
the fabrics just a shade of gray
faded in three folds undone 
exposed to light of day
the rug is worn along the hall 
just sacking held with thread 
the leadlight beckons every eye 
where visitor needs are fed. 
that chair in which you wait is old 
they bought it in the war
from one old lady whom they loved
who’d loved it years before
the hallstands stood the test of time
its glass still takes and keeps
reflections of all smiles that shine and them 
who could not weep.
today it took my look and left 
this stoic willful child 
who once remembered leaving here
as a bramble budding wild~~ 
~~~love joan ~~   I'm not relly happy with  the start of the last line
	
	
	
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte