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kick

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srijantje Offline
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#1
06-10-2012, 03:32 AM
Who wants to contemplate
kick in the balls
Reflection of moon on water
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Wildcard Offline
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#2
06-10-2012, 06:32 AM
Quite possibly the best Haiku I have ever read. Nice job SJ. Big Grin
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Erthona Offline
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#3
06-10-2012, 03:54 PM
Adds a whole new meaning to "I get a kick out of you".
I would assume that "kick" is the kiru, although this reads more like a Senryū as it is absent the seasonal reference, and speaks to human foibles. I do like how you ignore the gratuitous syllable count; by doing so this probably comes closer to the actual phrasing than than those poems that rigidly adhere to such nonsense. "Scramble Eggs" would also make a good title Smile

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How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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OneFourOne
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#4
06-10-2012, 11:39 PM
Kewl Haiku

Kick in the balls lol

Kick ass !!! Big Grin
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billy Offline
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#5
06-11-2012, 11:16 AM
sj, you never cease to amaze me.

i liked it, i'd have said
a kick in the balls

but it still made me laugh. well done you tree stump Big Grin
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srijantje Offline
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#6
06-11-2012, 06:50 PM
yes,i thought so too,later,a kick in the balls[or maybe nuts to give it sort of a seasonal twistBig Grin]
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Erthona Offline
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#7
06-11-2012, 07:26 PM
What squirrel wants to contemplate
kicked harvest nuts
refraction of moon on water Smile
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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srijantje Offline
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#8
06-11-2012, 07:37 PM
Who wants to contemplate
a kick in the nuts
Reflection of moon on water
  • the partially blind semi bald eagle
Bastard Elect
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billy Offline
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#9
06-14-2012, 07:47 AM
i seriously like the edit Big Grin
don't forget to paste the edit above original ;0
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Aish Offline
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#10
06-16-2012, 11:49 AM
Who wants to contemplate
fire roasted man fries
Reflection of moon on water

Do you frequently moon tourists, SJ? Hysterical
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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srijantje Offline
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#11
06-16-2012, 05:29 PM
only platonicBig Grin
(06-14-2012, 07:47 AM)billy Wrote:  i seriously like the edit Big Grin
don't forget to paste the edit above original ;0

thanks Bill
don't really know how to paste it above the original and i don't wanna screw it up
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billy Offline
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#12
06-16-2012, 06:57 PM
i wish we had a face palm smiley Big Grin
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srijantje Offline
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#13
06-17-2012, 05:20 PM
o.k.let me get into the admin panel and fuck around a bit
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Wildcard Offline
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#14
06-18-2012, 03:43 AM
[Image: facepalm.gif]
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srijantje Offline
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#15
06-18-2012, 11:17 AM
Big Grin
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billy Offline
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#16
06-19-2012, 11:18 AM
and back on topic,
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Aish Offline
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#17
06-19-2012, 12:53 PM
There was a topic?
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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billy Offline
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#18
06-20-2012, 11:13 AM (This post was last modified: 06-20-2012, 11:13 AM by billy.)
yes a senryu by sj

Who wants to contemplate
kick in the balls
Reflection of moon on water


that last line is a doozy sj (it means really good btw Smile )
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srijantje Offline
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#19
06-21-2012, 11:42 PM
i stole it from somewhereBig Grin
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heslopian Offline
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#20
08-20-2012, 03:55 PM
I think L2 needs an "a" before it and a dash after, the latter emphasising the change in thoughts, thus making this haiku even more hilariousBig Grin
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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