Riding a Cart

[addy]

Wheels rattle; above
geese sail through heavy cloud.
A tiring journey.

[billy]

we're getting a couple of these off you lately

i like the use of cloud as seasonal.
don't force yourself into the 5,7,5 you did 6 on the 2nd line and thats good,
the 1st line feels like there's 6 syls because of the semi colon and make a pause inside the line.
would adding above to the end of the 2nd line help the continuity (if you can use 6 syls there's now reason you can't use 8, and of course 3 in the first is okay too )

i really like it. and the haiku is okay as well

[addy]

Thanks for the critique billy . I struggled with this one, and now re-reading it (especially after your comments) it still looks terribly awkward. I suspect I'll need to rewrite this a few times

[billy]

you're kidding, i loved it
i hope you keep on doing them addy.
as far as i can see it's just the one word that could possibly have it's position changed and even that's arguable

[addy]

Thanks bee . It's very helpful to hear which parts work. I'll put an edit up in a bit