From the Pulpit

[Leanne]

Edit 13/1/2013 (thanks Tectak!)

There she is, Mrs Popplebottom, sitting in the pews,
With a condescending elbow on her knee,
And her throat swells with triumph as her stultifying views
Fill the jealous buds upon the Judas tree.

Here she comes for Communion, how she loves the taste of flesh
Pressed in wafers, for her palate is quite bland,
And her teeth are long rotted but her grievances are fresh
As she feeds them with her backward sleight of hand.

See her slink near the sacristy to desecrate the font
With her bile as it flows across the floor;
See her flounce like some curse-this-corset, sluttish debutante
As she slashes at the bright esprit de corps.

Have your way, Mrs Popplebottom: take your righteous heart,
And your fabricated hurt – give up your pose
Alone and unlamented now, you wrote yourself apart
In uninspiring, dull, insipid prose.

Original

There she is, Mrs Popplebottom, sitting in the pews,
Making dents in her elbow with her knee,
And her throat swells with triumph as her stultifying views
Fill the jealous buds upon the Judas tree.

Here she comes for Communion, how she loves the taste of flesh
Pressed in wafers, for her palate is quite bland,
And her teeth are long rotted but her grievances are fresh
As she feeds them with her backward sleight of hand.

See her slink near the sacristy to desecrate the font
With her bile as it flows across the floor;
See her flounce like some over-rounded, sluttish debutante
As she slashes at the bright esprit de corps.

Have your way, Mrs Popplebottom: take your righteous heart,
And your fabricated hurt – give up your pose
Alone and unlamented now, you wrote yourself apart
In uninspiring, dull, insipid prose.

*I have not edited the audio version yet though

[billy]

sounds like my cuppa tea

[Leanne]

She's a keeper, I'm sure... if you could stand to dust off the cobwebs

[billy]

god no.
the dust is a turn on
the voice was solid and though i've heard it before, i expected a more stern one

[Leanne]

Stop your schoolmarm fantasies, you sicko

[billy]

i have been such a bad boy miss
no seriously, you have a soft spoken voice
it ain't often the aussy twang sounds pleasant

[Leanne]

Yair, righto mate, whatever ya reckon

[billy]

that's more like it stereotypes are good for something
now throw another shrimp on the barbie sheil...leanne.

[addy]

I agree, your voice was like music (the good stuff, too)

Was never much of a churchgoer in my adult life, but my grandmother was devout... and boy, did she know quite a few Popplebottoms. The sniping behind the scenes in church was incredible, according to her accounts.

[Leanne]

They're at plague proportions in churches... and other places too, including poetry sites (not this one, we hunt them down!)

[billy]

and write poems about them

[Leanne]

it's the least we can do

[rowens]

Churches are wondrous places, when they're empty.

[tectak]

There she is, Mrs Popplebottom, sitting in the pews,
Making dents in her elbow with her knee,I am not a believer but even if I were I would not believe this line!Inverted syntax is one thing but in with within this line beats me!
And her throat swells with triumph as her stultifying views
Fill the jealous buds upon the Judas tree.

Here she comes for Communion, how she loves the taste of flesh
Pressed in wafers, for her palate is quite bland,
And her teeth are long rotted but her grievances are fresh
As she feeds them with her backward sleight of hand.Lovely stuff but again, a little physiologically challenging

See her slink near the sacristy to desecrate the font
With her bile as it flows across the floor;
See her flounce like some over-rounded, sluttish debutanteA defiinite half-foot clutter in her perambulations here. It is that oh-ver wot does it.
As she slashes at the bright esprit de corps.Magic

Have your way, Mrs Popplebottom: take your righteous heart,
And your fabricated hurt – give up your pose
Alone and unlamented now, you wrote yourself apart
In uninspiring, dull, insipid prose.Yet I want more

Stone the bloody crows, mate! You've nicked my structure after memorable service!
There's flattery, and you can't get round me with your silver tongue....though a lot depends on what you do with it.
Best,
tectak

[Leanne]

Apologies, Tectak, I totally missed this. I've made some small changes based on your feedback, thank you

[billy]

either one works for me, just sayin is all.

[shemthepenman]

it reminded me of moby dick... did you not get a little from there

[Leanne]

shh... if you promise to keep this quiet, I can admit I've never actually read Moby Dick

[shemthepenman]

I won't say a word (but you should read it:p) oh dear, I just listened the audio... you have such a poetic voice. your should record more. maybe dylan? i always loved dylan thomas but i always found his reading not to my taste.

[Leanne]

Dylan Thomas is wonderful... though I think there should be a law against any Welshman except Richard Burton ever reading poetry.

I have a house full of noisy people -- recording a poem requires a rare quiet moment, it would take me the rest of my life to get another half dozen done I think!