09-25-2012, 10:07 AM
the lake is thick ice
wrapped up children skate and slide-
my frozen piss snaps
wrapped up children skate and slide-
my frozen piss snaps
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-32 degrees.
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09-25-2012, 10:10 AM
frozen piss snaps... sounds like something they sell at Tescos
It could be worse
09-25-2012, 10:20 AM
I like your haiku. They have wonderfully cynical third lines which shatter the previous tranquility
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
 (09-25-2012, 10:10 AM)Leanne Wrote: frozen piss snaps... sounds like something they sell at Tescos  i almost used breaks instead of snaps but it thought it would seem funny. i'm glad i went with snaps now (09-25-2012, 10:20 AM)Heslopian Wrote: I like your haiku. They have wonderfully cynical third lines which shatter the previous tranquilityboring haiku are really boring i never thought of myself as cynical but i could get to like it 
09-25-2012, 11:17 PM
Definitely an interesting haiku. I hope the piss froze and snapped when outside your anatomy.
09-26-2012, 05:46 AM
Snaps is so onomotopeic it's a mildly genius stroke.
There is a rather fascinating twist for my warped little brain... your own frozen piss could be used as a torture device. Nice, boss, nice
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
(09-25-2012, 11:17 PM)MrA Wrote: Definitely an interesting haiku. I hope the piss froze and snapped when outside your anatomy.it was i saw a nat geo where someone pour tea out of a cup and it froze before hitting the ground of course it was minus 40 plus degrees (09-26-2012, 05:46 AM)Aish Wrote: Snaps is so onomotopeic it's a mildly genius stroke.thanks for that Aish 
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