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Prophet
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10-18-2012, 01:46 PM
Thinly narcissistic
and enamored beside your holy illusion I drink and rip your seams, as your paper temple falls away.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
10-18-2012, 03:35 PM
Has a spiritual feel, like being inside an empty cathedral, enjoyed the read Aish, thanks.
Oh what a wicket web we weave!
10-18-2012, 03:49 PM
I really like the sounds in your poem. I'm not sure how to comment on abstract poetry though, for me William Carlos Williams got it right when he said – "no ideas but in things". I can't see 'thinly narcissistic' or 'holy illusion'. This is a fault of mine, not of yours. Sorry I can't make a better comment - I hope someone else can!
it feels a bit nasty but that's it as far as any feeback i can give.
an impression that someone doesn't match up to their ego. sorry i couldn't be any more help Aish. i was a little bamboozled. |
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