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		Thinly narcissistic
and enamored
beside your holy illusion
I drink and rip your seams,
as your paper temple falls away.
	
	
	
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
	
		
	
 
 
	
	
	
		
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		Has a spiritual feel, like being inside an empty cathedral, enjoyed the read Aish, thanks. 
 
	
Oh what a wicket web we weave!
	
		
	
 
 
	
	
			just mercedes 
			
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		I really like the sounds in your poem. I'm not sure how to comment on abstract poetry though, for me William Carlos Williams got it right when he said – "no ideas but in things". I can't see 'thinly narcissistic' or  'holy illusion'. This is a fault of mine, not of yours. Sorry I can't make a better comment - I hope someone else can!
	
	
	
	
		
	
 
 
	
	
	
		
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		10-18-2012, 03:57 PM 
(This post was last modified: 10-18-2012, 03:58 PM by billy.)
	
	 
	
		it feels a bit nasty but that's it as far as any feeback i can give. 
an impression that someone doesn't match up to their ego.
sorry i couldn't be any more help Aish. i was a little bamboozled.