The Night Poetry Died

[Todd]

The night was the night.
The mosquitoes' whine sounded
like mosquitoes whining, and the moon
was large and glowed
in the darkness like the moon.

Metaphors and similes withered like
comparisons we could no longer make.
Everything was simply what it was.

[Leanne]

This is impossibly sad. I don't think there's anything you could have written that would move me more.

[addy]

Wow, that packed a wallop. No nits here, for me it's perfectly calibrated in its imperfection. Nicely done.

[billy]

it would be very hard to find fault with the poem.
nice play on similes with a non simile simile.
a good wake up call for all us so called would be poets

[Todd]

Leanne, Addy, and Billy: Thank you for your comments and feedback on this non-poem poem. I appreciated your reactions to it.

[Rose Love]

Hi--what a great poem! Yes, it's sad, but such a great thought at the same time! I was more happy reading it, just because the idea to write a poem on such a subject, and the way it was done, seemed so brilliant.

I could edit one thing, unless this was deliberate--mosquitos' whine, with an apostrophe.

[Todd]

Hi Rose,

Nice catch. I missed that. I'm glad you liked the poem. I've made the change.

Thank you,

Todd

[abu nuwas]

I took this as a two-fold thing. On the one hand, that point where everything suddenly goes barren, and the magic is lost; on the other, shot across the bows of plain 'non-poetry'. It thrives on its apparent simplicity. It is the kind of poem which all too rarely makes it to the 'slim volume'. Top marks old fruit.

[Todd]

Thank you Abu.

[tectak]

Thank you Abu.

Yes todd.
All said I'd say.
Best,
tectak

---

This is impossibly sad. I don't think there's anything you could have written that would move me more.

Sennapod

[Todd]

Thanks Tectak.

[monablackbird]

This was really beautiful and gets even more so the more times I read it. There's nothing I would change. Well done and thanks for the read.

[Todd]

Thank you mona. I appreciate the kind words.

[Jae Mc Donnell]

Yeah great stuff mate. Love the title, but the best bit for me is "and the moon
was large and glowed
in the darkness like the moon." Tops

[Todd]

Thanks for the comments Jae. Appreciated.

[heslopian]

The second verse is profoundly sad and moving. The first is clever and witty, but it didn't prepare me for that smashing close. From the title and first few lines I thought this would just be a smart conceptual poem - good but a trifle, as a lot of smart conceptual poems are - but it actually works as genuine emotional verse, like your usual stuff. Thank you for the read

[ellz483]

awesome read! There are a few punctuational mistakes, but those could be intentional or due simply to informality. The last line struck a chord with me, in particular. It reminded me of the quote from sigmund freud: "sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar." Totally not the same meaning in your poem, but it just brought me back to that quote is all.

[Todd]

Thanks Jack for the kind words.

Thank you Ellz. I'll review the punctuation. I appreciate your comments.

Best,

Todd