Exploring Conciousness

[aaron]

a loving stare in
the mirror reveals my eyes
fluid,face concrete

[billy]

try and make each line stand by itself (using syntax) of course it isn't mandatory but it helps in letting the reader understand better.

the 1st line could be
a loving stare
the mirror reveals my eyes
the last line is a little trickier

a loving stare
the mirror reveals fluid eyes
the face is concrete

try and work a bit of oomph into it
.

[aaron]

aight thanx bill