02-06-2013, 11:56 AM
i like it a lot i think it borders both senryu and haiku.
the last line has a finality about it
the last line has a finality about it
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Prevailing Soft
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02-06-2013, 11:56 AM
i like it a lot i think it borders both senryu and haiku.
the last line has a finality about it
03-21-2013, 01:18 AM
This is just beautiful. I almost think it would have more impact and power if the comparison in the last line is changed to inescapable truth, the outcome...like this
To bend and not break Newborn leaves soft and supple Brittle in death
04-03-2013, 08:32 AM
(02-06-2013, 04:35 AM)sqai Wrote: To bend and not break This is a nice hybrid. Tells the story of all life from birth to death. (03-21-2013, 01:18 AM)softlyfalling Wrote: This is just beautiful. I almost think it would have more impact and power if the comparison in the last line is changed to inescapable truth, the outcome...like this True, more exacting too, less abstract. |
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