So Let It Be Said

[angel in the stars]

So it’s time to fly,

Spread your wings and cry,

Imagine a time,

Of the simplest rhymes,

A world of life,

Not touched by the knife,

Of the imaginary death,

The taker of your breath.



Can you taste the years,

In the salt of your tears,

Every time they were shed,

While alone in your bed,

No comfort for the pain,

Except in the cleansing rain,

So let it fall like snow,

And bring a rainbow,

To brighten the time,

Making life sublime.

[saeity]

I have to say I really adore this, sorry for such a shite critique, but the only word I would lose is 'So' in it's time to fly, simply because you already have it in the title. Thanks for the read very much enjoyed

saeity.

[brandontoh]

I really like this poem. The punctuation, however, can be improved upon. Too many commas when there should be a period.

[billy]

hi angel

the punctuation needs a bit of work and the line spacing doesn't add to the poem, short poems are often better as short poems
while the poem does read nice you can improve it with some images.
another problem you have are the rhymes, they feel forced. this is because of the words that led upto them, the reader can more or less guess much of what will be written on the next lines.

thanks for the read.

So it’s time to fly, is 'so' needed?

Spread your wings and cry,

Imagine a time,

Of the simplest rhymes,

A world of life,

Not touched by the knife, try and give something more when introducing something new to the poem.

Of the imaginary death,

The taker of your breath.



Can you taste the years,

In the salt of your tears,

Every time they were shed,

While alone in your bed,

No comfort for the pain,

Except in the cleansing rain,

So let it fall like snow,

And bring a rainbow,

To brighten the time,

Making life sublime.