Posts: 443
Threads: 99
Joined: Sep 2013
I long to hold father
to whisper in his ear
what he has done
was not in vain
just mercedes
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For a small poem it got wordy, I thought. Maybe something like
I long to hold father
to whisper in his ear
it was not in vain
maybe italics for the final line
Posts: 443
Threads: 99
Joined: Sep 2013
(09-16-2015, 05:37 PM)just mercedes Wrote: For a small poem it got wordy, I thought. Maybe something like
I long to hold father
to whisper in his ear
it was not in vain
maybe italics for the final line
That's fair. I'll delete it and move it to a medium poem category