06-04-2013, 12:37 PM
i think the idea of the tanka is for it to be shared between two or more poets,
one poets writes the 1st part. (575 syls, 3 lines) the next poet writes the 2nd part (77 syls over 2 lines) and so the poem continues. as far as i know rhymes are frowned upon in the form
oh i forgot, each line should be self sufficient.
while the poem reads well enough i think it needs to be more wary of the to many carry on between lines. ( that said, it's best to do some check of your own because i'm not sure about the form myself apart from a cursory read
an example;
On the white sand
Of the beach of a small isle
In the Eastern Sea
I, my face streaked with tears,
Am playing with a crab
– Ishikawa Takuboku
one poets writes the 1st part. (575 syls, 3 lines) the next poet writes the 2nd part (77 syls over 2 lines) and so the poem continues. as far as i know rhymes are frowned upon in the form
oh i forgot, each line should be self sufficient.
while the poem reads well enough i think it needs to be more wary of the to many carry on between lines. ( that said, it's best to do some check of your own because i'm not sure about the form myself apart from a cursory read
an example;
On the white sand
Of the beach of a small isle
In the Eastern Sea
I, my face streaked with tears,
Am playing with a crab
– Ishikawa Takuboku