06-04-2013, 09:55 PM
Your poem uses language that is too abstract at times. Try swopping some of the archaic words for more common ones - is 'happenstance' really needed? Coincidence has the same meaning.
I like your extended metaphor regarding religion - I think it works very well to uphold a traditional feel to your poem.
I like your extended metaphor regarding religion - I think it works very well to uphold a traditional feel to your poem.
- Amy
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)