Short poem
#5
(06-29-2013, 07:48 AM)Leanne Wrote:  Lovely use of alliteration -- it can be overwhelming in a little poem like this, but you control it beautifully. The image of the snail is excellent (but I still feel like I want to squash it)
Hi Leanne,
Thank you very much for your comments and your kind words. I have a soft spot for alliterations in short poems, so it means a lot to me that you think it works. I actually kind of like snails. The ones with houses on their backs. I like to watch them take forever to get from one end to the other of my small, grassy backyard.
Best,
Louise

(06-29-2013, 08:15 AM)tectak Wrote:  Slider on slime
a foot a minute;
Gotcha!

....I'm the catcher in the rye!

Liked it,vol, for its alliterative content and boy, that semi colon puts it right up thereSmile
Yes to this. Now, about the use of metaldehydes....
Best,
tectak
Hi tectac,
Love your little poem! And thanks for your comments, they are very much appreciated.
Best,
Louise

(06-29-2013, 09:07 AM)billy Wrote:  excellent. as leanne said the alliteration makes it bigger than it is and that's quite a feet in such a small poem
Hi billy,
Thanks you so much for your kind comments, they're much appreciated. It's always nice to get a little boost of confidence, cause I was a bit unsure if the poem was just too short for it's content.
Best,
Louise

(06-29-2013, 12:32 PM)trueenigma Wrote:  It is a nice little poem, Volaticus.
Thank you very much, true. I much appreciate it.
Best,
Louise
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Messages In This Thread
Short poem - by Volaticus - 06-29-2013, 07:46 AM
RE: Short poem - by Leanne - 06-29-2013, 07:48 AM
RE: Short poem - by Volaticus - 06-30-2013, 03:49 AM
RE: Short poem - by tectak - 06-29-2013, 08:15 AM
RE: Short poem - by billy - 06-29-2013, 09:07 AM



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