08-15-2013, 12:30 PM
Hi SunRose
I like the idea with this poem and the unexpected line in the middle of the six stanzas. The punctuation seems to need some work. There are some cliches I think you could rephrase to something a little more original, and you could add some more imagery, as it felt quite narrative in some places. JMHO of course. Thanks for sharing.
-LB
I like the idea with this poem and the unexpected line in the middle of the six stanzas. The punctuation seems to need some work. There are some cliches I think you could rephrase to something a little more original, and you could add some more imagery, as it felt quite narrative in some places. JMHO of course. Thanks for sharing.
-LB