09-13-2013, 11:38 PM
I wouldn't change anything. It's perfect for what it is. However, I'd like a reason to care about the narrorator. As it stands, I don't care if he sleeps on a bench for the night.
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Night Out
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RE: Night Out - by leftover sushi - 09-13-2013, 11:38 PM
RE: Night Out - by rowens - 09-13-2013, 11:42 PM
RE: Night Out - by Wjames - 09-13-2013, 11:54 PM
RE: Night Out - by rowens - 09-14-2013, 12:01 AM
RE: Night Out - by ScurryFunger - 09-15-2013, 01:29 AM
RE: Night Out - by Wjames - 09-15-2013, 02:44 AM
RE: Night Out - by rowens - 09-15-2013, 02:03 AM
RE: Night Out - by ScurryFunger - 09-16-2013, 02:36 AM
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