Violet

[Volaticus]

Whitest Violet -
noble and devout.
Her virtue
wilted;
a midsummer's drought.

i dont what the form is you were going for ...
and i read the reviews and your replies .... so ... my take on it

midsummer
the whitest violet
wilting

or wilts ?

for me ... noble and devout, vitues are human traits we are placing upon this whitest of violets ... that you name it as THE whitest violet - the reader should know and get noble virtues - i prefer not to spoon feed a reader ... it is poetry after all ?

and wilting tells us its hot ... and dry ... ?

please ignore my suggestions and ramblings if they are of no use to you
i comment because i see/read something i relate to .. or like

really really like this premise of your poem

>>> Gina

Hi Gina,
Thanks for taking time to read and comment. I completely agree with you, that some of the words are implied by other words, making them redundant. I don't plan on revising this poem further though, it's old and tired and has been put to rest. But still many thanks for commenting
Best,
LB