12-11-2013, 01:40 AM
Hi all, thanks for the responses. This was one in a series of rambling poems I did (this one being the most accessible, so, edit and post). The false dilemma I sort of faced with it was, if I edit it more for imagery and the like (poetry 
), it would defeat the purpose of it being a rambling poem. Of course, there's an element of hubris as well; I probably like hearing the sound of my own voice/ramblings much more than a reader would. Anyway, I liked what I perceived to be the frank openness of the first few lines, as well as hankabadpoet's suggestion with the insecurity angle...
milo and bemh- prose might be a stretch for me. All of my, shall we call it, recreational writing output, has been poetry for a number of years now, so there's not much chance for me turning this into prose (and if I start writing prose, some day I hope, it wont start with this). I can see how it lends itself to that, but if anything it would be another one for the dustbin, not a new short story.
), it would defeat the purpose of it being a rambling poem. Of course, there's an element of hubris as well; I probably like hearing the sound of my own voice/ramblings much more than a reader would. Anyway, I liked what I perceived to be the frank openness of the first few lines, as well as hankabadpoet's suggestion with the insecurity angle...milo and bemh- prose might be a stretch for me. All of my, shall we call it, recreational writing output, has been poetry for a number of years now, so there's not much chance for me turning this into prose (and if I start writing prose, some day I hope, it wont start with this). I can see how it lends itself to that, but if anything it would be another one for the dustbin, not a new short story.