04-18-2014, 11:14 AM
[quote='Ryan_w_r' pid='158109' dateline='1395343882']
A beautiful fallacy woven together with silken strings of white,
Neatly laid across your heart, and stitched on tight punctuation?
A lovely little falsity, better yet, a lovely little fable...
Preying on the minds of the young, the weak, the ready willing and able. ready, willing and able? Seemed odd to me when I read it.
a travesty believed to be a gift from his benevolent grace, Capital A?
A chemical imbalance, an imperfection, a deceitful disgrace.
Do not be fooled by this malevolent waste, love the power of following an idea that is thought to be "benevolent" so closely with the direct antonym of "malevolent waste". Feels a little blunt, but effective.
Free yourself of these lies tight embrace. Lies'?
This lie is a virus passed amongst society much like H.I.V.[/b]
Only the virus that I speak of is spelled L. O. V. E.
This poem has remarkable coherency for a subject matter than can so often descend into ranting angst (excerpts from my personal work prove this). I really enjoyed reading this, keep it up
A beautiful fallacy woven together with silken strings of white,
Neatly laid across your heart, and stitched on tight punctuation?
A lovely little falsity, better yet, a lovely little fable...
Preying on the minds of the young, the weak, the ready willing and able. ready, willing and able? Seemed odd to me when I read it.
a travesty believed to be a gift from his benevolent grace, Capital A?
A chemical imbalance, an imperfection, a deceitful disgrace.
Do not be fooled by this malevolent waste, love the power of following an idea that is thought to be "benevolent" so closely with the direct antonym of "malevolent waste". Feels a little blunt, but effective.
Free yourself of these lies tight embrace. Lies'?
This lie is a virus passed amongst society much like H.I.V.[/b]
Only the virus that I speak of is spelled L. O. V. E.
This poem has remarkable coherency for a subject matter than can so often descend into ranting angst (excerpts from my personal work prove this). I really enjoyed reading this, keep it up