Bully in the Mirror

[billy]

the content and intent is clear. sometimes too much clarity can be a bad thing, drawing out a truth or the context of an idea can be equally bad..not always mind you but often. for me the main thing about the poem is that it holds little life. it doesn't grip me as such an action as bullying should. i don't need blood but i need an emotional and rational connection.
a suggestion would be to try and edit out the fluff (things that don't add anything to poem, remember your writing a poem not a page in a book)

an example and that's all it is, without adding my own words.

She spends hours getting ready
Knowing her hard work is for naught
when she gets to her locker she will be tripped
into a reality that's a nightmare

think of words that might add. does ready in the first line do a good enough job? would pretty or something else add to the outcome of the poem. you've written the poem down and that's really good, now take the building blocks from what you have and build the poem proper chop and add cut and grow the poem you want to write. don't waste phrase that can be alluded to or left to the imagination of the reader. we already know it's about bullying. on main problem was ..is the girl in the mirror the bully or the bullee, the title says she's the bully but the poem says the opposite.

thanks for the read

She spends five hours getting ready for school
Knowing all her hard work is for naught
For by the time she gets to her locker she will be tripped into a reality that feels a nightmare
The names she can handle, as she has heard various versions her whole life
What hurts the most are the way people stare,
As if she has worms in hair
Some look her way in horror,
Some in wrath, she shys away from everyone's path
Beautiful and shy the kids at school whisper as she passes,
Only she hears FREAK, Slut, Crazy.
In class there is no reprieve,
Her teachers ignore her hand for the answer
Looking through her is worse than being glared at
Invisible is miserable
At lunch she sits alone
Stomach to tight to eat
Afraid she will have food and garbage thrown her way
The bell signaling the end of school could not come a second sooner
A rush to home she slams her bedroom door hard
Shaking she knows deep within is where self hate is born
She can not bare to look in the mirror for she fears her own reflection. When she finally does
All she can see is nonexistent self extreme glaring back.

**
welcome to my words. Please leave feedback if you are so moved. I am not afraid or shy to answer any questions you may have about poetry or everyday life. Writers are family.

I do sympathize with teenage angst as I've been through quite a bit of that myself, but then I got barraged by a bevy of people that told me "self pity avails us nothing." I think writing can be used as a great therapeutic tool, but therapeutic writing isn't necessarily literary. I would recommend visiting some of the resources on the site and learning about some of the tools used in poetry. I'm not saying I am necessarily an omniscient seer on the subject, but that seems like a decent way to proceed on your intended goal.

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Perhaps this was not the best way to introduce my poetry here. I am half my life past my teenage years. I am a counselor at a high school and see this student, and many more like her everyday. I hoped in writing this poem, there might be reader who wouldn't feel they were the only one feeling bullied by self and society. Life for most does get "easier" but at the time it is not easy to understand or accept that "self pity avails us nothing."
Thank you for your quick and open feedback. I will soon return the favor.