Baptism

[alatos]

Hi alatos.

I liked this one. It flowed nicely, had great imagery, conveyed emotion, and told the whole story with a solid finish. I like the change you made in v. 2 (restless clouds) but there is one thing I want to point out. In this line "I whispered psalms within my capsized boat." if he is able to see everything (dusk took form.... fractured light..), that would kind of insinuate that he is outside or on top of the capsized boat so wouldn't "I whispered psalms upon my capsized boat." make a little more sense? Of course I would be way off here but that was really the only thing I could think of to point out. Nice job!

Thanks, I'm glad you picked that out. I realized it when I wrote it, and you're right. I meant the capsized to symbolic of a massive trial in life. The overturned boat is this terrible, seemingly hopeless situation. A sink or swim situation, if you will. As the sun sinks, my fate is looking grim. But as it rises (baptized, in a way), it's revealed that I also was 'baptized' and survived. So I somehow find peace WITHIN this situation, not UPON it. But I realize that's a stretch, and I never really liked it from the beginning. I can't think of the right preposition that would both make sense with a literal boat and the figurative one.