Ye olde internet.

[ellajam]

"umble" That's an archaic, and provincial usage, used by Early American rural writers. Growing up I heard older people who were born in the later 1800's in the south use it often. More times than not related to the Humble gas stations, which later became Enco, and today is Exxon. Also used by older Southern Baptist preacher in southern states as well as certain televangelist, (see Jimmy Swaggert. The Loord Goddt has umbeled me. Said after being caught with a prostitute in a motel sex, er six, after having taken little Jimmy out of the pulpit, to stand erect and witness what she was doing.)  

Yes, I enjoyed the "fiery spume" line.
The idea, material is good, just a little discombobulated, I'd take a clue from Marcella and use a singsong meter, but with rhyming couplets. It is difficult to present this kind of humor with free verse, and seems to work better with a ballad meter or common meter format.  

ellajam-I-am L5-6 need some tightening

"When the angle is just right (4 accents, trochee)
you ride by in perfect pace (4 accentual)
I'll catch and throw you back the light (4 iambic)
reflected by my rough-cut face." (4 iambic)

Better I think. considering the movement of the meter I'd have to go with four foot accentual verse.

Merry Christmas,


dale

I am always urged to cut the word still, as if it is empty filler. I love still. I love the sound of the word, the calm acceptance of it, the pause it sometimes implies and the fact that it says "but yet" or "even though" so succinctly. In this poem it reads as a pivot point for me. If this was in a workshop I'm sure others would agree with you, but still, I think I'll keep it. Dejavu, I think I've used that line before.