01-28-2015, 03:36 PM
Hi, this is my first ever critique. This poem sounds like someone who has been bitten hard by love. Its almost the opposite of a love poem. With love being a predator, a waste or a virus. It seems to me the vibe???( newbie warning) of it is the feeling of one who is smarting from love pain. I really liked the way the words sound together in line 2 and 8. I thought the HIV and the LOVE kind of took away from the rest of the poem. Overall though I enjoyed this different presentation of love.