Bath Time

[Zella]

Hi Wonderfullife! This is my first post here on this forum. From a totally amateur perspective here is my critique of your poem. It was fun, starting off lightly and getting heavier near the end.

I wrote this poem just for fun. Many poems I read deal with very serious stuff. I thought it is a good idea to do something lighter.
The rhyme took on 'a mind of its own' leading the poem in directions I did not plan in advance.
Maybe, that's part of the fun of poetry.

Bath Time     (maybe rather something like "Bath Reflection" to better hint at the poem content)
    
Ah, a bath.
Turn on the tap
later a nap
Then to dine
Maybe have some wine    (I'd leave out "have" for better rhythm)
let the mind wander,
To places, here, there and yonder.    (also I would leave out "there")
To momentarily feel
Memories so fine
You wish you could
Go backward in time.
Remembering:
Seeing the farmer saying the hay   ("saying"?)
Watching the mother baking all day
Listening to water splashing onto rocks
Seeing big boats pulling into square docks. .
Gazing at goldsmiths fixing a clock
Staring at stockbrokers counting their stock
Looking at goods I wish I could pawn
Awed at fog hiding the dawn
Shocked at stars twinkling so bright   (did you omit a line to rhyme with "bright"?)
Squinting at summer sunsets sublime
Having a good time all of the time.

(Please do not use red pen for critiques as this is used by mods for in post messages. Parenthetical, bolded black is usually the accepted usage.  Thanks /mod