Walking With the Fog

[yimbus]

 Walking with the fog
cool breezes wash my skin
as cloaked villains bask in sin.            better rhythm without "as"

Along the pitiful road
the dark parades                           maybe you can insert a verb, e.g."  i see" (hopefully something more poetic) agreed, this stanza was kind of barren. Will try to think of something that is meaningful to add and doesn’t take away from it
and light masquerades.                better rhythm without "and"

The path moves                       consider uniting the 1st and 2nd line e.g. "the path ticktocks with gloom"
ticking with gloom
while the hour is well past noon.

Deepened shadows chase my eyes
and interlace a grove of trees
whose life is rationed out, for free.       no idea what this is about. plants? rationed, for free, how?  i was trying  to be descriptive about the lone life in the dark scene being divided and taken to the dark. The shadows “interlaced” the trees, which represent life, and “rationed” them out. Also, a bit of a take on deforestation. 

What a lonely trail, the one that's straight                      you could leave out "what"
defiled by just one mere gate,                              "merry" instead of "mere"? for rhythm, but also because the gate is personified in the next line and it seems to make some kind of absurd sense to me. I don’t think merry would fit for the meaning I intended. Maybe I can find another adjective besides mere that would fit the rhythm better though. The gate was supposed to be more dark or tempting than merry. 
that beckons...come here, don't wait.       maybe "do not wait" just for rhythm (since most of your poem is in iambs)

Who yields to flowers, and also bramble
they feel a call to drift and stumble
so far from home they tend to crumble.   "crumble" feels very much like being there for rhyme.. but probably only because i still don´t get your message I can definitely see that it feels forced, but it did also fit the meaning. The subject is traveling and being tempted, so as he gets deeper into the dark and away from home, he is getting closer to “crumbling” or giving in/losing control/etc.

Still an aura does exist
an effervescent sort of mist                      
encapsulating this devilish tryst.               nice words, mist being effervescent, and then encapsulating. i´d like to be (subtly) supplied with the thoughts behind those phrases.. maybe then i would understand what tryst the poem is talking about. if you keep the stanza as it is you might write "encapsulates" instead of "encapsulating" was supposed to be a more hopeful ending to the poem. I like to start with one theme/emotion and gradually lead to another in my poems. The subject is going down into the dark, which just generally represents bad/evil/death/etc. but he still has his notions of what is right and his nature still stays with him, represented by this effervescent aura that is with him during this tryst with the devil/death/temptation or whatever you see it as. Hopefully that makes sense, might not have explained it in the best way.

Thanks vagabond, I agree with most of your grammatical, rhythmic or vocab edits, so if I didn’t respond to those...that’s why.