Consequence
#5
(08-19-2026, 07:14 PM)purplie Wrote:  
(07-11-2026, 01:59 AM)matsunosuperfan Wrote:  Consequence

The one I love 
has died. Today, 
that’s a useful lie. 

But one day
it will be the truth
and I won’t know why.
As the reader, I find myself following the same path, and that is a neat trick. The eye wants to glide past the first stanza as being too obvious. But it catches you on the enjambment, which is very clever, giving the stanza multiple possible meanings, which the second is anticipated to clarify...
On reaching the second stanza, my first thought is, why isn't it the same form as the first? But that becomes unimportant when you realize that you can't figure out the truth of the second stanza or the first. Which is maybe the position the speaker is in.
Very nice.
Thank you for the thoughtful reading <3

(07-11-2026, 07:40 PM)wasellajam Wrote:  
(07-11-2026, 01:59 AM)matsunosuperfan Wrote:  Consequence

The one I love 
has died. Today, 
that’s a useful lie. 

But one day
it will be the truth
and I won’t know why.
Good job using simple language to express how current loss is amplified by shooting it into the future. Still caring about the not knowing doubles the poem's immediacy. Well done.
appreciated <3

(07-11-2026, 04:23 PM)busker Wrote:  
(07-11-2026, 01:59 AM)matsunosuperfan Wrote:  Consequence

The one I love 
has died. Today, 
that’s a useful lie. 

But one day
it will be the truth
and I won’t know why.
The last line is just there to rhyme with “lie”, isn’t it?
IS IT?? :3
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Messages In This Thread
Consequence - by matsunosuperfan - 07-11-2026, 01:59 AM
RE: Consequence - by busker - 07-11-2026, 04:23 PM
RE: Consequence - by wasellajam - 07-11-2026, 07:40 PM
RE: Consequence - by purplie - 08-19-2026, 07:14 PM
RE: Consequence - by matsunosuperfan - 08-20-2026, 11:58 AM



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