I don't remember seeing "nipply" on any kigo list 
, but three nicely self-contained lines give a fairly complete picture. You probably should lose the colon though.
I quite like the way the thought that "boyfriend's a dick-head loser" causes her to raise her eyes, perhaps a wistful glance at a house she's passing or a park bench once lovingly shagged upon... then back to the ground when she realises that it's just one step after another.
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hmm... my first reading was from the girl's standpoint but then I noticed your title (titles in 'ku act as an extra line and they're kind of cheating but in this case...) so I'm left thinking it's some pervert walking along checking out women as he passes, only glancing up from the ground when he notices a decent pair of legs I guess...
, but three nicely self-contained lines give a fairly complete picture. You probably should lose the colon though. I quite like the way the thought that "boyfriend's a dick-head loser" causes her to raise her eyes, perhaps a wistful glance at a house she's passing or a park bench once lovingly shagged upon... then back to the ground when she realises that it's just one step after another.
___________
hmm... my first reading was from the girl's standpoint but then I noticed your title (titles in 'ku act as an extra line and they're kind of cheating but in this case...) so I'm left thinking it's some pervert walking along checking out women as he passes, only glancing up from the ground when he notices a decent pair of legs I guess...
It could be worse