Sacred City (Ode to Milton Keynes) by Heslopian

[Leanne]

The town is square and grey, an altar cloth
in open fields. A boulevard divides
the rising and the setting sun. The hill
which rooted Joseph's staff may not be here,
but Nature's sweets and idols are. A witch
I kissed one Summer's night is bearing bread
and stones. I watch her through a pub window.
Her rites are held in tree preserves, where love
and leaves are one with light, each soul a part
of Earth's design. I kissed her there, beneath
a stooping tree. She laughed and lost my name.
I walked to work the next morning with grief.
A fleeting lust, a sudden warmth, a tree
behind us, old and stooped; yet now this grey.


*The original thread and feedback can be found here

[billy]

mister Milton would be extremely proud of you jack excellent poem

[milo]

The town is square and grey, an altar cloth
in open fields. A boulevard divides
the rising and the setting sun. The hill
which rooted Joseph's staff may not be here,
but Nature's sweets and idols are. A witch
I kissed one Summer's night is bearing bread
and stones. I watch her through a pub window.
Her rites are held in tree preserves, where love
and leaves are one with light, each soul a part
of Earth's design. I kissed her there, beneath
a stooping tree. She laughed and lost my name.
I walked to work the next morning with grief.
A fleeting lust, a sudden warmth, a tree
behind us, old and stooped; yet now this grey.


*The original thread and feedback can be found here

without a doubt, an excellent choice. From the perfectly drawn parallel in the opening right through to the end.

[newsclippings]

I'm glad this got spotlighted so I didn't have to stutter around in critique. Well done.

[heslopian]

For the longest time I was baffled by why two threads bearing my poem's name were showing up Thank you for spotlighting this, Leanne, I'm flattered

[Leanne]

It was billy's suggestion and I was more than happy to agree with him -- it's well deserved.

[tectak]

It was billy's suggestion and I was more than happy to agree with him -- it's well deserved.

Hard to follow hes...for you as well as us!
Thoroughly deserved.
tectak

[ChristopherSea]

Nice job Heslopian! I critiqued the original post and glad to see it in this spotlight forum where it belongs. (You didn't shag the witch, but there's a wench in your local pub waiting for you.)