04-09-2014, 06:13 PM
2nd Edit ( with thanks to Leanne)
HE:
I've come to sell you God Madam - He's in this Magazine.
I came here on a Bicycle, I'm really very Keen.
SHE:
So you would sell me God would you, well really, aren't you sweet!
Come in for some refreshments dear, and rest your tired feet.
HE:
Just let me park the Bicycle my Church has lent to me;
I'm on it all the time now and it's Really Splendid, see!
SHE:
Oh isn't mankind clever to have made such a contraption
That takes one's feet right off the ground - no circumambulation
Allowed when one has such a thing to carry one around!
I like to keep my own feet planted firmly on the ground.
Come in, Religious Caller, do come in for morning tea
And have a glass of water and a little chat with me -
I'm just a crazy lady who no longer rides a bike,
And go on, put the pamphlets there between us if you like.
So you would sell me God would you? The Grail as Magazine?
Do sit down on the sofa while I find a glass that's clean.
I know my knowledge of the Lord's a tiny speck of dust
So are you then a genius to say that you have Him sussed?
HE:
I'm proud to say that I know God much better that my peers -
I've Memorized the Doctrine and I've Studied hard for years!
I can Recite a dozen Prayers (and some of them in Verse)
And with Somebody Else's Words I'm happy to converse.
I know all the Old Testament, especially all the Rules,
And all the Pat Responses for the Unbelieving Fools.
My Church will have a Brochure that says what is Wrong with yours,
You’ll have no further need for Guilt, we'll tell you all your Flaws.
And we can make you Holy with this Weekly Magazine
And nobody would ever guess the Sinner you have been.
It may sound quite Exclusive, it might sound a little odd,
But I confirm it Madam: we've the Copyright on God!
SHE:
Well I confess that I'm a fool, I barely know my Lord,
Although I too have read some books that hail from abroad.
I rarely get around to prayer, and surely not in rhyme;
We never get the chance because we're talking all the time.
You've memorized Leviticus, I know the Song Of Songs
And you know Him and I know Him and both of us are wrong.
I don't believe your doctrine can confine The Boundless One...
You seem to be believing that's just what your church has done-
So here dear, have a cupcake, for a year you'll need not eat,
Because inside that cupcake is a paddockful of wheat!
Here's your glass of water, you can drink it in a minute,
Careful how you hold it for I put an ocean in it!
And do look out this window here and tell me if you see
Like I do when I look through the entire galaxy?
HE:
You did say you were Crazy- but I thought it was in jest!
And I've got Other Calls to make, I'll let you have a rest.
If you have any Questions I can bring an Elder and
He'll Explain about my Faith what I don't understand
His Bike is just like mine and he's been riding it for years
His holds loads more Pamphlets and he's better at the gears!
So read those Magazines and I'll bring more in a fortnight;
If you Subscribe as I do then you ought to be alright.
Telephone me if you want to join the Congregation-
Goodbye Madam, God Bless, thank you for the Conversation.
SHE:
Oh Witness Lord, the borrowed bike and hear the tinny bell!
Behold the Doctrine Pedlar who would save my soul from hell!
Oh look he's off already when we'd only just begun -
Come help me with this jigsaw then and have a bit of fun!
For You're a jigsaw puzzle that not one of us can solve;
Each person holds the merest piece and thinks he has the whole!
A vast eternal jigsaw with innumerable parts
Surpassing all the Golden Calves you find in human hearts!
Oh who knows You but You alone? Come sit down here with me,
I’m glad that pedlar’s gone for I prefer Your company!
1st Edit
The Doctrine Pedlar
HE:
I've Come to sell you God Madam - He's in this Magazine.
I came here on a Bicycle, I'm really very Keen.
SHE:
So you would sell me God would you, well really, aren't you sweet!
Come in for some refreshments dear, and rest your tired feet.
HE:
Just let me park the Bicycle my Church has lent to me;
I'm on it all the time now and it's Really Splendid, see!
SHE:
Oh isn't mankind clever to make such a contraption
That takes one's feet off the ground - no circumambulation
Allowed when one has such a thing to carry one around!
I like to keep my own feet planted firmly on the ground.
Come in, Religious Caller, do come in for morning tea
And have a glass of water and a little chat with me -
Just a crazy old woman who no longer rides a bike,
And go on, put the pamphlets there between us if you like.
So you would sell me God would you? The Grail as Magazine?
Do sit down on the sofa while I find a glass that's clean.
I know my knowledge of Him is a tiny speck of dust
So are you then a genius to say that you have Him sussed?
HE:
I'm Proud to say that I know God much better that my Peers -
All my Church's Publications I've Studied hard for Years!
I can Recite a dozen Prayers (and some of them in Verse)
And with Somebody Elses's Words we once a day Converse.
I know all the Old Testament, Especially all the Rules,
And all the Pat Responses for the Unbelieving Fools.
My Church will have a Brochure that says what is Wrong with Yours,
You’ll no longer need your guilt for we'll tell you all your Flaws.
And We can make you Holy with this Weekly Magazine
And Nobody would ever guess the Sinner you have been.
It may sound to you Exclusive, may sound a little Odd,
But I confirm it Madam, We've the Copyright on God!
SHE:
Well I confess that I'm a fool, I barely know my Lord,
Although I too have read some books that hail from abroad.
I rarely get around to prayer, certainly not in rhyme;
We never get the chance because we're talking all the time.
You've memorized Leviticus, I know the Song Of Songs
And you know Him and I know Him and both of us are wrong.
I don't believe your doctrine can confine The Boundless One...
You seem to be believing that is what your church has done-
So here dear, have a cupcake, for a year you'll need not eat,
Because inside that cupcake is a paddockful of wheat!
Here's your glass of water, you can drink it in a minute,
Careful how you hold it for I put an ocean in it!
And do look out this window here and tell me if you see
Like I do when I look through the entire galaxy?
HE:
You Did say you were Crazy- but I thought it was in Jest!
And I've got other Calls to Make, I'll let you have a Rest.
But if you've got any Questions I can bring an Elder and
He will Explain about my Faith what I don't Understand
He's got a Bike just like mine! He's been Riding it for Years
And places lots of Pamphlets 'cause he's Better at the Gears.
So read those Magazines and I'll bring more in a Fortnight;
If you Subscribe as I do then you ought to be alright.
You can Phone me if you want to join the Congregation-
Goodbye Madam, God Bless, thank you for the Conversation.
SHE:
Oh Witness Lord, the borrowed bike and hear the tinny bell!
Behold the Doctrine Pedlar that would save my soul from hell!
Oh look he's off already when we'd only just begun -
Come help me with the jigsaw then and have a bit of fun!
For You're a jigsaw puzzle that not one of us can solve;
And each one holds the merest piece and thinks he has the whole!
A vast eternal jigsaw with innumerable parts
Surpassing all the Golden Calves you find in human hearts!
Oh who knows You but You alone? Come sit down here with me,
I’m glad that pedlar’s gone for I prefer Your company!
Original
The Doctrine Pedlar
HE:
I've Come to sell you God Madam - He's in this Magazine.
I came here on a Bicycle, I'm really very Keen.
SHE:
So you would sell me God would you, well really, aren't you sweet!
Come in for some refreshments dear, and rest your tired feet.
HE:
Just let me park the Bicycle my Church has lent to me;
I'm on it all the time now and it's Really Splendid, see!
SHE:
Oh isn't mankind clever to make such a contraption
That takes one's feet clear off the ground - no circumambulation
Allowed when one has such a thing to carry one around!
You could almost give up thinking with such a bell to sound!
Come in, Religious Caller, do come in and have a cake
And have a glass of water and some conversation make
With a crazy old woman who no longer rides a bike,
And go on, put the pamphlets there between us if you like.
So you would sell me God would you? The Grail as Magazine?
Do sit down on the sofa while I find a glass that's clean.
I know my knowledge of Him is a tiny speck of dust
So are you then a genius to say you have Him sussed?
HE:
I'm Proud to say that I know God much better that my Peers -
All my Church's Publications I've Studied hard for Years!
I can Recite a dozen Prayers (and some of them in Verse)
And with Somebody Elses's Words we once a day Converse.
I know lots of the Old Testament, Especially all the Rules,
And all the Pat Responses for the Unbelieving Fools.
My Church will have a Brochure to say what is Wrong with Yours,
You no longer need a conscience for We'll tell you all your Flaws.
And We can make you Holy with this Weekly Magazine
And Nobody would ever guess the Sinner you have been.
It may sound to you Exclusive, it may sound a little Odd,
But I confirm it Madam, We've the Copyright on God!
SHE:
Well I confess that I'm a fool, I barely know my Lord,
Although I too have read some books that hail from abroad.
I rarely get around to prayer, especially not in rhyme;
We never get the chance because we're talking all the time.
You've memorized Leviticus, I know the Song Of Songs
And you know Him and I know Him and both of us are wrong.
I don't believe your doctrine can confine The Boundless One...
And I'd rather not fellowship with petty quarrel numb -
So here dear, have a cupcake, for a year you'll need not eat,
Because inside that cupcake is a paddockful of wheat!
Here's your glass of water, you can drink it in a minute,
Careful how you hold it for I put an ocean in it!
And do look out this window here and tell me if you see
Like I do when I look through it the entire galaxy?
HE:
You Did say you were Crazy but I thought it was in Jest!
And I've got other Calls to Make, I'll let you have a Rest.
But if you've got any Questions I can bring an Elder and
He'll Explain about my Faith what I don't Understand
He's got a Bike just like mine! He's been Riding it for Years
And places lots of Pamphlets 'cause he's Better at the Gears.
So read those Magazines and I'll bring more in a Fortnight;
If you Subscribe as I do then you'll Probably be alright.
Oh and do you like my New Shoes? They're made of Crocodile!
Goodbye Madam, God Bless you and I'll see you in a While.
SHE:
Oh Witness Lord, the borrowed bike and hear the tinny bell!
Behold the Doctrine Pedlar that would save my soul from hell!
Oh look he's off already when we'd only just begun -
Come help me with the jigsaw then and have a bit of fun!
For You're a jigsaw puzzle that not one of us can solve;
And each one holds the merest piece and thinks he has the whole!
A vast eternal jigsaw with innumerable parts
Surpassing all the Golden Calves you find in human hearts!
Oh who knows You but You alone? Come sit down here with me,
These magazines will fuel the fire and we'll have veal for tea!
HE:
I've come to sell you God Madam - He's in this Magazine.
I came here on a Bicycle, I'm really very Keen.
SHE:
So you would sell me God would you, well really, aren't you sweet!
Come in for some refreshments dear, and rest your tired feet.
HE:
Just let me park the Bicycle my Church has lent to me;
I'm on it all the time now and it's Really Splendid, see!
SHE:
Oh isn't mankind clever to have made such a contraption
That takes one's feet right off the ground - no circumambulation
Allowed when one has such a thing to carry one around!
I like to keep my own feet planted firmly on the ground.
Come in, Religious Caller, do come in for morning tea
And have a glass of water and a little chat with me -
I'm just a crazy lady who no longer rides a bike,
And go on, put the pamphlets there between us if you like.
So you would sell me God would you? The Grail as Magazine?
Do sit down on the sofa while I find a glass that's clean.
I know my knowledge of the Lord's a tiny speck of dust
So are you then a genius to say that you have Him sussed?
HE:
I'm proud to say that I know God much better that my peers -
I've Memorized the Doctrine and I've Studied hard for years!
I can Recite a dozen Prayers (and some of them in Verse)
And with Somebody Else's Words I'm happy to converse.
I know all the Old Testament, especially all the Rules,
And all the Pat Responses for the Unbelieving Fools.
My Church will have a Brochure that says what is Wrong with yours,
You’ll have no further need for Guilt, we'll tell you all your Flaws.
And we can make you Holy with this Weekly Magazine
And nobody would ever guess the Sinner you have been.
It may sound quite Exclusive, it might sound a little odd,
But I confirm it Madam: we've the Copyright on God!
SHE:
Well I confess that I'm a fool, I barely know my Lord,
Although I too have read some books that hail from abroad.
I rarely get around to prayer, and surely not in rhyme;
We never get the chance because we're talking all the time.
You've memorized Leviticus, I know the Song Of Songs
And you know Him and I know Him and both of us are wrong.
I don't believe your doctrine can confine The Boundless One...
You seem to be believing that's just what your church has done-
So here dear, have a cupcake, for a year you'll need not eat,
Because inside that cupcake is a paddockful of wheat!
Here's your glass of water, you can drink it in a minute,
Careful how you hold it for I put an ocean in it!
And do look out this window here and tell me if you see
Like I do when I look through the entire galaxy?
HE:
You did say you were Crazy- but I thought it was in jest!
And I've got Other Calls to make, I'll let you have a rest.
If you have any Questions I can bring an Elder and
He'll Explain about my Faith what I don't understand
His Bike is just like mine and he's been riding it for years
His holds loads more Pamphlets and he's better at the gears!
So read those Magazines and I'll bring more in a fortnight;
If you Subscribe as I do then you ought to be alright.
Telephone me if you want to join the Congregation-
Goodbye Madam, God Bless, thank you for the Conversation.
SHE:
Oh Witness Lord, the borrowed bike and hear the tinny bell!
Behold the Doctrine Pedlar who would save my soul from hell!
Oh look he's off already when we'd only just begun -
Come help me with this jigsaw then and have a bit of fun!
For You're a jigsaw puzzle that not one of us can solve;
Each person holds the merest piece and thinks he has the whole!
A vast eternal jigsaw with innumerable parts
Surpassing all the Golden Calves you find in human hearts!
Oh who knows You but You alone? Come sit down here with me,
I’m glad that pedlar’s gone for I prefer Your company!
1st Edit
The Doctrine Pedlar
HE:
I've Come to sell you God Madam - He's in this Magazine.
I came here on a Bicycle, I'm really very Keen.
SHE:
So you would sell me God would you, well really, aren't you sweet!
Come in for some refreshments dear, and rest your tired feet.
HE:
Just let me park the Bicycle my Church has lent to me;
I'm on it all the time now and it's Really Splendid, see!
SHE:
Oh isn't mankind clever to make such a contraption
That takes one's feet off the ground - no circumambulation
Allowed when one has such a thing to carry one around!
I like to keep my own feet planted firmly on the ground.
Come in, Religious Caller, do come in for morning tea
And have a glass of water and a little chat with me -
Just a crazy old woman who no longer rides a bike,
And go on, put the pamphlets there between us if you like.
So you would sell me God would you? The Grail as Magazine?
Do sit down on the sofa while I find a glass that's clean.
I know my knowledge of Him is a tiny speck of dust
So are you then a genius to say that you have Him sussed?
HE:
I'm Proud to say that I know God much better that my Peers -
All my Church's Publications I've Studied hard for Years!
I can Recite a dozen Prayers (and some of them in Verse)
And with Somebody Elses's Words we once a day Converse.
I know all the Old Testament, Especially all the Rules,
And all the Pat Responses for the Unbelieving Fools.
My Church will have a Brochure that says what is Wrong with Yours,
You’ll no longer need your guilt for we'll tell you all your Flaws.
And We can make you Holy with this Weekly Magazine
And Nobody would ever guess the Sinner you have been.
It may sound to you Exclusive, may sound a little Odd,
But I confirm it Madam, We've the Copyright on God!
SHE:
Well I confess that I'm a fool, I barely know my Lord,
Although I too have read some books that hail from abroad.
I rarely get around to prayer, certainly not in rhyme;
We never get the chance because we're talking all the time.
You've memorized Leviticus, I know the Song Of Songs
And you know Him and I know Him and both of us are wrong.
I don't believe your doctrine can confine The Boundless One...
You seem to be believing that is what your church has done-
So here dear, have a cupcake, for a year you'll need not eat,
Because inside that cupcake is a paddockful of wheat!
Here's your glass of water, you can drink it in a minute,
Careful how you hold it for I put an ocean in it!
And do look out this window here and tell me if you see
Like I do when I look through the entire galaxy?
HE:
You Did say you were Crazy- but I thought it was in Jest!
And I've got other Calls to Make, I'll let you have a Rest.
But if you've got any Questions I can bring an Elder and
He will Explain about my Faith what I don't Understand
He's got a Bike just like mine! He's been Riding it for Years
And places lots of Pamphlets 'cause he's Better at the Gears.
So read those Magazines and I'll bring more in a Fortnight;
If you Subscribe as I do then you ought to be alright.
You can Phone me if you want to join the Congregation-
Goodbye Madam, God Bless, thank you for the Conversation.
SHE:
Oh Witness Lord, the borrowed bike and hear the tinny bell!
Behold the Doctrine Pedlar that would save my soul from hell!
Oh look he's off already when we'd only just begun -
Come help me with the jigsaw then and have a bit of fun!
For You're a jigsaw puzzle that not one of us can solve;
And each one holds the merest piece and thinks he has the whole!
A vast eternal jigsaw with innumerable parts
Surpassing all the Golden Calves you find in human hearts!
Oh who knows You but You alone? Come sit down here with me,
I’m glad that pedlar’s gone for I prefer Your company!
Original
The Doctrine Pedlar
HE:
I've Come to sell you God Madam - He's in this Magazine.
I came here on a Bicycle, I'm really very Keen.
SHE:
So you would sell me God would you, well really, aren't you sweet!
Come in for some refreshments dear, and rest your tired feet.
HE:
Just let me park the Bicycle my Church has lent to me;
I'm on it all the time now and it's Really Splendid, see!
SHE:
Oh isn't mankind clever to make such a contraption
That takes one's feet clear off the ground - no circumambulation
Allowed when one has such a thing to carry one around!
You could almost give up thinking with such a bell to sound!
Come in, Religious Caller, do come in and have a cake
And have a glass of water and some conversation make
With a crazy old woman who no longer rides a bike,
And go on, put the pamphlets there between us if you like.
So you would sell me God would you? The Grail as Magazine?
Do sit down on the sofa while I find a glass that's clean.
I know my knowledge of Him is a tiny speck of dust
So are you then a genius to say you have Him sussed?
HE:
I'm Proud to say that I know God much better that my Peers -
All my Church's Publications I've Studied hard for Years!
I can Recite a dozen Prayers (and some of them in Verse)
And with Somebody Elses's Words we once a day Converse.
I know lots of the Old Testament, Especially all the Rules,
And all the Pat Responses for the Unbelieving Fools.
My Church will have a Brochure to say what is Wrong with Yours,
You no longer need a conscience for We'll tell you all your Flaws.
And We can make you Holy with this Weekly Magazine
And Nobody would ever guess the Sinner you have been.
It may sound to you Exclusive, it may sound a little Odd,
But I confirm it Madam, We've the Copyright on God!
SHE:
Well I confess that I'm a fool, I barely know my Lord,
Although I too have read some books that hail from abroad.
I rarely get around to prayer, especially not in rhyme;
We never get the chance because we're talking all the time.
You've memorized Leviticus, I know the Song Of Songs
And you know Him and I know Him and both of us are wrong.
I don't believe your doctrine can confine The Boundless One...
And I'd rather not fellowship with petty quarrel numb -
So here dear, have a cupcake, for a year you'll need not eat,
Because inside that cupcake is a paddockful of wheat!
Here's your glass of water, you can drink it in a minute,
Careful how you hold it for I put an ocean in it!
And do look out this window here and tell me if you see
Like I do when I look through it the entire galaxy?
HE:
You Did say you were Crazy but I thought it was in Jest!
And I've got other Calls to Make, I'll let you have a Rest.
But if you've got any Questions I can bring an Elder and
He'll Explain about my Faith what I don't Understand
He's got a Bike just like mine! He's been Riding it for Years
And places lots of Pamphlets 'cause he's Better at the Gears.
So read those Magazines and I'll bring more in a Fortnight;
If you Subscribe as I do then you'll Probably be alright.
Oh and do you like my New Shoes? They're made of Crocodile!
Goodbye Madam, God Bless you and I'll see you in a While.
SHE:
Oh Witness Lord, the borrowed bike and hear the tinny bell!
Behold the Doctrine Pedlar that would save my soul from hell!
Oh look he's off already when we'd only just begun -
Come help me with the jigsaw then and have a bit of fun!
For You're a jigsaw puzzle that not one of us can solve;
And each one holds the merest piece and thinks he has the whole!
A vast eternal jigsaw with innumerable parts
Surpassing all the Golden Calves you find in human hearts!
Oh who knows You but You alone? Come sit down here with me,
These magazines will fuel the fire and we'll have veal for tea!
Line) 2