3-3-15 'Ku

[Tiger the Lion]

hats and mittens
drying on the radiator,
the smell of cocoa

[Magpie]

hat and gloves
drying on the radiator,
the smell of cocoa

Ah, you've changed it. I was going to say that I liked the use of the word 'mittens' and that it added quite a lot to the ku. I'm not sure of your reasons for changing it, but I think I prefer it with mittens.

Also if I'm not mistaken was the original "hats and mittens", in which case a completely different picture has been painted altogether.

Mark

[Tiger the Lion]

hats and mittens
drying on the radiator,
the smell of cocoa

Ah, you've changed it. I was going to say that I liked the use of the word 'mittens' and that it added quite a lot to the ku. I'm not sure of your reasons for changing it, but I think I prefer it with mittens.

Also if I'm not mistaken was the original "hats and mittens", in which case a completely different picture has been painted altogether.

Mark

Thanks Mark. I have been flip-flopping on that first line all day. I wasn't sure if the sonics of "hats and mittens" was too much. Credit for tipping the scales back to the original. And thanks for the careful reading.
Paul

[srijantje]

I like this one,and yes,mittens

[rayheinrich]

hats and mittens
drying on the radiator,
the smell of cocoa

The plurals hug you with family, friends, a sense of life shared.
I love the perfect Trochaic feet of the first two lines which,
when they end, create a natural pivot.

It's beautiful.

[Tiger the Lion]

Thank you srj and Ray. Very kind. I really must thank Mark for directing me back to my first instinct. Part of why this site works.
Paul