Awake
#1
The gristled tooth, white tongue
throbbing sunrise embarassment
can not be cured with fresh air
and pancakes.
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#2
even though embarrassment can be anything, i can't help but think of the walk of shame..ha

(09-13-2016, 01:09 AM)Wjames Wrote:  The gristled tooth, white tongue from tooth to white to tongue is interesting
throbbing sunrise embarassment *embarrassmentĀ 
can not be cured with fresh air
and pancakes. great image to lighten the mood

It festers like a corpse in a cave,
and wakes with the bats oh you look like that? sorry..walk of shame reading
when it's time to eat. good loop back to pancakes but i'm confused about how it connects to the other images in this stanza
Thanks to this Forum
feedback award
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#3
I think your poem is all in the first stanza. Its imagery is fine-tuned, and the reader is left to imagine the back-story. Which for me runs along the lines of 'I had to chew off my arm, to get away without waking her' Smile
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#4
Thanks for your thoughts, I'll cut the second stanza.
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#5
(09-13-2016, 01:09 AM)Wjames Wrote:  The gristled tooth, white tongue
throbbing sunrise embarassment
can not be cured with fresh air
and pancakes.

Thus the reason why oral sex is called afternoon delight.
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#6
(09-15-2016, 07:33 PM)RiverNotch Wrote:  Thus the reason why oral sex is called afternoon delight.

Haha

I thought afternoon delight was just daytime lovemaking of any kind - at least that was the impression I got from watching Anchorman.
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