Haiku

[Keith]

Joint singes car seat
Old tree learns how to dissect
A Young drivers chest

[just mercedes]

Ouch. Wisdom - don't drop a joint while you're driving.

[Achebe]

Ah. I was reading that as a bone and socket joint. Now it's clear.

[RiverNotch]

I'm trying to find a deeper meaning (whatever that means) to the first line, but I can't. A joint is a joint, and dropping it, of all things, is about as stupid as it gets. So that somehow, although on the first read the first line drew me in, on all the later reads it just felt like a drag. Although perhaps the car is already hit, as the joint smokes -- but I don't think the lines' progressing tenses suggest that.

[kolemath]

.. it just felt like a drag. 

ha..drag 

river's got it though; the first line is slapped in the face by the 2nd and 3rd, like an anti-drug PSA.  strong lines though

[Keith]

Ouch. Wisdom - don't drop a joint while you're driving.

Especially down tree lined roads, thank you JM

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Ah. I was reading that as a bone and socket joint. Now it's clear.

Yes Achebe I did think there might be some confusion still not sure about joint, thanks for commenting. Keith

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I'm trying to find a deeper meaning (whatever that means) to the first line, but I can't. A joint is a joint, and dropping it, of all things, is about as stupid as it gets. So that somehow, although on the first read the first line drew me in, on all the later reads it just felt like a drag. Although perhaps the car is already hit, as the joint smokes -- but I don't think the lines' progressing tenses suggest that.

Thank you RN yes not sure it has to be that specific so I may change joint although I was trying to give a reason why the tree had to do the deed. You got me thinking thanks. Keith

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.. it just felt like a drag. 

ha..drag 

river's got it though; the first line is slapped in the face by the 2nd and 3rd, like an anti-drug PSA.  strong lines though

Thanks Kolemath I was kinda going for that but not sure it works that well now or indeed makes it as a Haiku, this is what happens when I write shorts after 4 pints of Guinness I should know better. Best Keith

[RiverNotch]

Would be kinda funny if the joint was singing the tree's trunk, maybe....

[Magpie]

Hi Keith I like what you've got here. 

You could use 'spliff' to avoid any ambiguity over 'joint'.

I know that you've stuck to the syllable structure and you've more than likely read all the discussions about whether it's necessary to stick to the 5-7-5 structure. However if you were happy to experiment with fewer syllables I think it could be used to good effect with this piece. 

A possible suggestion could be 

spliff singes car seat
old tree learns
dissection

Even if you wanted to stick to the 5-7-5 count I think that you could leave out 'driver' and let the reader do the interpretation.

Also it's probably a senryu as opposed to a haiku, but I'm probably just being to fussy.

Cheers for the read,

Mark