Misanthropy

[Wjames]

In the playground, people spew
laughter as they jump from swings
and spring toward frisbees.

My saliva rots on my tongue,
and the breeze fills my nose
with dandelions.

I have to spit.

[JaredEggo]

The twist at the end really made me laugh. I'm not sure how saliva rots on one's tongue, though. Also, the last line seems to come out of nowhere, and have nothing to do with the rest of the poem, except for the saliva part. All together though a really fun poem.

In the playground, people spew
laughter as they jump from swings
and spring toward frisbees.

My saliva rots on my tongue,
and the breeze fills my nose
with dandelions.

I have to spit.

[Keith]

A well worked short and I get that you need the human element to bounce the hatred off but S1 feels flat, a good image but no edge, could you humanise the playground give it its own life for the N to hate. The end is spot on playing with the title, all in all a very nice short poem S1 just need something more. Hope this makes sense, Best Keith

[Lizzie]

I love how this takes something that people would normally see as a sweet, innocent scene, something in the way of being the true meaning of life, and makes it repulsive.

This sounds like a description of what it's like to be in public when depressed, hungover, in the throes of a migraine, having sensory problems, or all of the above.

I appreciate the original, yet commonplace, perspective. It's a good write.