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Natural Acoustics

Natural Acoustics
71degrees Offline
Actually rather good at it
********
Posts: 443
Threads: 99
Joined: Sep 2013
#1
10-27-2017, 12:00 PM
It wasn’t the water sound,
nor the river's poetics.

It was a man—
pleased to be so
aimless.
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Tiger the Lion Offline
The Whispered Roar
Posts: 751
Threads: 409
Joined: May 2014
#2
10-27-2017, 01:01 PM
(10-27-2017, 12:00 PM)71degrees Wrote:  It wasn’t the water sound—
it wasn’t the river either.

It was a man—
pleased to be so
aimless.
Enjoyed this 71. Excellent title. My only suggestion is to perhaps find a way of combining the first 2 lines. You could avoid a little repetition and one of the em dashes that way.  Thumbsup
Paul
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71degrees Offline
Actually rather good at it
********
Posts: 443
Threads: 99
Joined: Sep 2013
#3
10-27-2017, 10:28 PM
(10-27-2017, 01:01 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  
(10-27-2017, 12:00 PM)71degrees Wrote:  It wasn’t the water sound—
it wasn’t the river either.

It was a man—
pleased to be so
aimless.

Enjoyed this 71. Excellent title. My only suggestion is to perhaps find a way of combining the first 2 lines. You could avoid a little repetition and one of the em dashes that way.  Thumbsup
Paul

I agree. Thank you.
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