They've got computers now

[matsunosuperfan]

They’ve got computers now

that can write poetry, read your mind, or paint
the Mona Lisa. Lots of very smart people
are worried about this, which is a massive
waste of energy. There’s no convincing
evidence machines can outdo
artists: have you ever seen an AI agent
board the bus without a ticket, having left
its wallet on the windowsill, distracted
by a blackbird, only to get waved through
by the driver with his stoic spine and fixed
half-grimace, and he mutters
like your father, so you shrapnel
into tears? Yes, but the machine can draw
a perfectly straight line.

[busker]

They’ve got computers now

that can write poetry, read your mind, or paint
the Mona Lisa. Lots of very smart people
are worried about this, which is a massive
waste of energy. There’s no convincing
evidence machines can outdo
artists: … it’s a lot of haranguing till this point. The evidence comes in S2, and it’s not terribly convincing 

have you ever seen an AI agent
board the bus without a ticket, having left
its wallet on the windowsill, … a number of fairly anachronistic images for 2026. They all pay using their phones distracted
by a blackbird, only to get waved through
by the driver with his stoic spine and fixed
half-grimace, and he mutters
like your father, so you shrapnel
into tears? … because AI agents sent experience life real time, they aren’t really creating something born of genuine experience. It’s all superficial. That’s fine - until the cyborgs come - but the choice of anecdote makes me wonder if trivial first world problems are what art is about  Yes, but the machine can draw
a perfectly straight line. 

It’s a nice slice of life narration in S2, but feels somewhat lightweight

[matsunosuperfan]

They’ve got computers now

that can write poetry, read your mind, or paint
the Mona Lisa. Lots of very smart people
are worried about this, which is a massive
waste of energy. There’s no convincing
evidence machines can outdo
artists: … it’s a lot of haranguing till this point. The evidence comes in S2, and it’s not terribly convincing 

have you ever seen an AI agent
board the bus without a ticket, having left
its wallet on the windowsill, … a number of fairly anachronistic images for 2026. They all pay using their phones distracted
by a blackbird, only to get waved through
by the driver with his stoic spine and fixed
half-grimace, and he mutters
like your father, so you shrapnel
into tears? … because AI agents sent experience life real time, they aren’t really creating something born of genuine experience. It’s all superficial. That’s fine - until the cyborgs come - but the choice of anecdote makes me wonder if trivial first world problems are what art is about  Yes, but the machine can draw
a perfectly straight line. 

It’s a nice slice of life narration in S2, but feels somewhat lightweight

thanks for reading, yeah this one's for the "exercise" bin. appreciate your taking the time <3

[piscui]

They’ve got computers now

that can write poetry, read your mind, or paint
the Mona Lisa. Lots of very smart people
are worried about this, which is a massive
waste of energy. There’s no convincing
evidence machines can outdo
artists: have you ever seen an AI agent
board the bus without a ticket, having left
its wallet on the windowsill, distracted
by a blackbird, only to get waved through
by the driver with his stoic spine and fixed
half-grimace, and he mutters
like your father, so you shrapnel
into tears? Yes, but the machine can draw
a perfectly straight line.

a nice way of portraying something thats happening literally every second nowadays. only suggestion is that a i feel that "Lots of very smart people are worried about this, which is a massive waste of energy" doesnt add much to it. have a nice day<3

[matsunosuperfan]

They’ve got computers now

that can write poetry, read your mind, or paint
the Mona Lisa. Lots of very smart people
are worried about this, which is a massive
waste of energy. There’s no convincing
evidence machines can outdo
artists: have you ever seen an AI agent
board the bus without a ticket, having left
its wallet on the windowsill, distracted
by a blackbird, only to get waved through
by the driver with his stoic spine and fixed
half-grimace, and he mutters
like your father, so you shrapnel
into tears? Yes, but the machine can draw
a perfectly straight line.

a nice way of portraying something thats happening literally every second nowadays. only suggestion is that a i feel that "Lots of very smart people are worried about this, which is a massive waste of energy" doesnt add much to it. have a nice day<3

great call, that line is pure cruft! thx for reading

[busker]

They’ve got computers now

that can write poetry, read your mind, or paint
the Mona Lisa. Lots of very smart people
are worried about this, which is a massive
waste of energy. There’s no convincing
evidence machines can outdo
artists: have you ever seen an AI agent
board the bus without a ticket, having left
its wallet on the windowsill, distracted
by a blackbird, only to get waved through
by the driver with his stoic spine and fixed
half-grimace, and he mutters
like your father, so you shrapnel
into tears? Yes, but the machine can draw
a perfectly straight line.

Upon re-reading, I rescind my previous critique 
It must’ve been a pro-technology day
This is a perfectly fine poem. Almost perfect.
I quite like it. Except for “stoic spine”. Something less abstract than “stoic” or something other than “spine”. A stick in the spine hurts, and it prompts the thought

[matsunosuperfan]

Nice of you to take the time to revisit, busker. I still don't think much of it, but thanks

[busker]

Nice of you to take the time to revisit, busker. I still don't think much of it, but thanks

You’re right in that it’s not one of those a-ha poems, but there’s no glaring fault i can find in it. It doesn’t elevate like the best poems, but that’s about it. It does the job competently