Best Garden on the Street

[Magpie]

Best Garden on the Street

My Garden is beautiful
-- it's where cats go
to murder mice.

[Wjames]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I like the turn in the third line, and the picture of someone saying this sentence with an earnest smile.

[RiverNotch]

two notes

why is "Garden" capitalised?

that hyphen looks lonely...either do a quick -- or just go —

now, a question

i really like this piece, and it has the general feel of an haiku, but i have to wonder which word is supposed to be the seasonal word. do cats in your part of the world tend to be more active during only a certain time of the year, or is it rather the mice, or what? i mean, it probably doesn't matter....but, unless it's *already* a haiku, it's so close! so close!

[Magpie]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I like the turn in the third line, and the picture of someone saying this sentence with an earnest smile.

Thanks. I changed it from 'hunt' to 'murder'. I'm glad it worked.

Cheers

---

two notes

why is "Garden" capitalised?

Probably a product of reading too much Blake, but it seemed appropriate to elevate the status of the garden in the sense of the narrator. I suppose it's a way of saying that because the garden is so wild it is better than all the other manicured gardens.

that hyphen looks lonely...either do a quick -- or just go —

I agree, I should've went double hyphen. I did used to know how to do an em dash. I've changed it to --

now, a question

i really like this piece, and it has the general feel of an haiku, but i have to wonder which word is supposed to be the seasonal word. do cats in your part of the world tend to be more active during only a certain time of the year, or is it rather the mice, or what? i mean, it probably doesn't matter....but, unless it's *already* a haiku, it's so close! so close!

I never really intended to write it as a haiku. I suppose it would be closer to a senryu because of the human element and the inclusion of 'murder' which would indicate a human interpretation. I'm not sure about a seasonal word, either one of 'cat' or 'mice' would work.
Also the title would prevent me from calling it a haiku or senryu because it is essentially a four lined poem. Without the title it doesn't work in the same way.

Cheers for the read and comments, It's a good discussion.

[Bunx]

Haha my old trailer park could have been the set to lady and the tramp.
The hesitation in second staza is a clever use. Love how it flows when read.

[Magpie]

Thanks Bunx, much appreciated.