Sacramental bread

[tmanzano]

----edit---


At home
I can hear
when sitting quietly
the gnawing

It eats at me
being so clean

Sweeping smooth tile
in long strokes
behind the walls
beyond my broom

The unconquerable pest
exists on an intangible crumb



----- First draft----


This home
I can hear
when sitting quietly

The gnawing
eats me,
being so clean

Sweeping
smooth tile
in long strokes

Behind the walls
beyond my broom

The unconquerable pest
exists
on an intangible crumb

[Crepuscule]

I like this. But I'm not sure about the title. The poem (as I interpret it) is about an irritation that lies out of reach, but I can't see how sacramental bread is involved... which makes me wonder if I've misunderstood it.

This home
I can hear
when sitting quietly

The gnawing
eats me,
being so clean

Sweeping
smooth tile
in long strokes

Behind the walls
beyond my broom

The unconquerable pest
exists
on the intangible crumb

[tmanzano]

You have read into this correctly. The irritation that can't be reached is forgiveness. Maybe I was stretching for the title. Maybe think of something else. I will have to ponder this. Thank you so much for your read.

[tmanzano]

New edit, don't know if this brings it to the surface or not.